Friday Funny – A Nurses Guide to the Apocalypse

People send me stuff.

Today I got this cartoon from an unexpected source; a website dedicated to medical nursing professionals. Apparently, they take the same sort of dim view about the Climate Change Apocalypse as they do the Zombie Apocalypse, but at least they have the good sense to laugh about it.

Of course, by making fun of climate change in the same satire with the Zombie Apocalypse, I’m pretty sure they are now on Lewandowsky’s and Cook’s nutter radar.

A Nurse's Guide to the Apocalypse

Source: TheNursingBible.com

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AleaJactaEst
March 21, 2014 7:24 am

to paraphrase one of your most revered sons….” in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and nurses…”.

Chris B
March 21, 2014 7:26 am

OMG, WWZ,…… and…… warmer temperatures. It’s worse than I thought.

William
March 21, 2014 7:29 am

Awesome!

Jason Calley
March 21, 2014 7:30 am

Wow! The poster says “20 million climate refugees in 2008”. Anyone seen them lately? I could believe that figure if the date was 1936. Lots of Okies and such back then…

Ian
March 21, 2014 7:30 am

Love the “facts” about Zombies.
Who knew there were only two types!

SasjaL
March 21, 2014 7:33 am

Inhalers & astma medication (decreased air quality)
If so, the decreased air quality are caused due to the BS the AGW community are spreading. That require only psychiatric medicin for the AGW’ers to solve that problem …
The last headline “ZOMBIES reminds me about the process behind the AGW community’s arguments …

March 21, 2014 7:35 am

It gets worse. How about a site dedicated to Zombie-Based Learning so middle schoolers will be engaged in their schoolwork? http://www.zombiebased.com
I first heard about this when Joel Klein, former NYC Schools Chancellor and now head of Rupert Murdoch’s digital learning empire, Amplify, bragged that it would help create new kinds of minds.
Yes, ones that will believe in CAGW fervently because of all the graphic modelling of it during their school years on the to be ubiquitous laptops.

March 21, 2014 7:44 am

Well, if Climate Change causes an Asteroid Impact (some say it will, you know) which then effectively sets off Nuclear Winter, will this save us from a Zombie Apocalypse?
If so, here’s just one more reason to do nothing about Climate Change: it will save us from a Zombie Apocalypse!

March 21, 2014 7:49 am

Not sure why Climate Change heads the list.
Maybe because it is the most ludicrous of all???

Pete
March 21, 2014 7:56 am

Thanks for the Friday laughs.
Yagottaluvit!

Box of Rocks
March 21, 2014 8:00 am

Really?
I want a refund, I want my 5 minutes back.
But at least someone has a sense of humor….

Gibby
March 21, 2014 8:07 am

Something about linking to the original web site makes my outgoing email server and other government servers hate it… they keep thinking it is some sort of spam bot??

Steve (Paris)
March 21, 2014 8:23 am

Now I know what I want for Christmas!

Bruce Cobb
March 21, 2014 8:25 am

Nurses on the whole are a practical lot. They have to be.
Here’s what they say about the U.S. – “The Rx Nation” http://www.thenursingbible.com/pill-nation/
I like their picture of a nurse. I’ve seen many like that.
Not.

March 21, 2014 8:32 am

What I find “Ignobel-ly” insightful from this cartoon (as in from improbable.com) is that the scenarios presented proceed in an increasing order of likelihood.

Bob Rogers
March 21, 2014 8:40 am

If I was preparing for the Zombies I think I would include beer.

ossqss
March 21, 2014 8:40 am

That better be a 4 stroke chainsaw in California or solar powered. 2 stroke chainsaws have been determined to cause cancer there or some sort of unproven problem. /sarc

richard
March 21, 2014 8:42 am

As it’s Friday funny though you might like to look at the size of co2 generating machines used in agriculture, these must cost a small fortune,
Pleased to see that the info comes from the Ontario ministry of agriculture and food- Carbon Dioxide In Greenhouses,
Last reviewed 8/09
http://www.omafra.gov.on.ca/english/crops/facts/00-077.htm
This extract amused me-
“The main advantages of using liquid CO2 include purity of product, no concerns about crop damage, nor heat or moisture production, better control of CO2 levels and the flexibility to introduce the CO2 within the plant canopy at any time”
and
Leaks in the greenhouse allow a continuous infiltration of outside air, which contains only 340 ppm CO2.

Tucci78
March 21, 2014 8:57 am

Well, there’s something for me to pass along to my favorite nursing student.

March 21, 2014 9:01 am

Wow! The poster says “20 million climate refugees in 2008″. Anyone seen them lately?
Yes. They work as extras in zombie movies.

D.J. Hawkins
March 21, 2014 9:05 am

SasjaL says:
March 21, 2014 at 7:33 am
“Inhalers & astma medication (decreased air quality)”
If so, the decreased air quality are caused due to the BS the AGW community are spreading. That require only psychiatric medicin for the AGW’ers to solve that problem …
The last headline “ZOMBIES reminds me about the process behind the AGW community’s arguments …

Aeorsolized rodent feces is a primary cause of Hanta virus infection. Anyone know where Mann, Hansen et al have been hanging out, lately? I’d lke to avoid that locality.

JimS
March 21, 2014 9:06 am

Good night nurse!

D.J. Hawkins
March 21, 2014 9:12 am

richard says:
March 21, 2014 at 8:42 am
As it’s Friday funny though you might like to look at the size of co2 generating machines used in agriculture, these must cost a small fortune,…

Unless you need the heat, I can’t see this being economical. My company uses CO2. Our last bulk purchase, this month for 4,800 lbm cost $648, less delivery charges. For smaller locations, I have to belive a tank is the best option.

JDN
March 21, 2014 9:13 am

From my end, it looks like their server is having a hard time keeping up. Is there any way to cache the image on wordpress?

DesertYote
March 21, 2014 9:17 am

Jason Calley says:
March 21, 2014 at 7:30 am
Wow! The poster says “20 million climate refugees in 2008″. Anyone seen them lately? I could believe that figure if the date was 1936. Lots of Okies and such back then…
###
They are in Miami and Phoenix.

March 21, 2014 9:21 am

So increased CO2 now causes reduced air quality? hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA Do they not understand that man’s CO2 accounts for that HUGE proportion of ~0.0012% of the atmosphere?

Pete Smith
March 21, 2014 9:24 am

Zombies can be killed with a chest wound & bleeding out?!
Please!
Am I the only one who has watched Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (and the awful remake), all 4 seasons of the Walking Dead, played Left 4 Dead etc.
The only way to dispatch a zombie is to destroy the brain. I thought everyone knew that!

DirkH
March 21, 2014 9:28 am

I like that they put up Nuclear Winter together with Global Warming. Somebody’s been paying attention.
Both fall out of shoddy computer models.
http://www.textfiles.com/survival/nkwrmelt.txt

littlepeaks
March 21, 2014 9:33 am

If the nurses all look like that, better stock up on the BP pills (make them industrial strength). As far as allergies are concerned — just went through allergy testing, and I don’t have any. As far as heat, I LIVE on heat. When I was in the Army in 1970 (during the draft), when I was assigned KP duty, I loved being assigned to cleaning pots and pans, etc, because it was so nice and hot and humid in that area. During the summers, my wife and I fight between the choices of air conditioning, or opening the doors and windows to let the hot air in.

Jonathan Berber
March 21, 2014 9:36 am

Brilliant. Really enjoyed reading the poster.
Impressively, they even listed their references at the foot of it.
Highly credible, this should sail through peer-review…

Tim Churchill
March 21, 2014 9:37 am

Bruce Cobb said:
“I like their picture of a nurse. I’ve seen many like that.
Not.”
Bad luck. I married one like that.

lenbilen
March 21, 2014 9:51 am

“Inhalers & asthma medication (decreased air quality)”
The EPA is always ready to help when they banned the CFC propelled inhalers before a suitable alternative was ready for the market. Now there is, at four times the cost All this to reduce the amount of CFC by less than 0.01% or return to base value 3 days earlier in 100 years.
http://lenbilen.com/2012/02/04/ban-inhalers-to-save-the-environment-fda-and-epa-gone-mad/

March 21, 2014 10:03 am

I’m sorry, but after some extensive study into zombiism, I have to say that there is nothing approching the quality of a peer-reviewed publication that that infographic references. Zombiism isn’t some transmissible microbe or virus that get spread like rabies from bites, everyone knows that zombies are created either by powerful wizards/shamans/witch doctors who need labour for thier sugar mills (source: “The White Zombie” documentary, 1932) or by wooden aliens seeking world domination (source: “Plan 9 From Outer Space” documentary, 1959).
Also, Carlos Sagán was utterly wrong about Nucular[sic] Winter.

Steve from Rockwood
March 21, 2014 10:09 am

I’m concerned about Atlanta. They’ve had some serious problems with Zombies as reported on the American Medical Community (AMC) broadcast last Sunday. Recently a number of Zombies have been seen around a university in Pennsylvania. At first they were thought to be harmless…

Pete
March 21, 2014 10:26 am

Zombies … they’re all over the place!
And here I thought they lived in a Long Island cemetery.

motogeek
March 21, 2014 10:38 am

Zombies can be killed with a chest wound & bleeding out?!
Please!
Am I the only one who has watched Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (and the awful remake), all 4 seasons of the Walking Dead, played Left 4 Dead etc.
The only way to dispatch a zombie is to destroy the brain. I thought everyone knew that!
***************************************
I think they’re talking specifically about fast zombies… like 28 days later. Those zombies die of starvation. Although they don’t care about wounds per se, they are still crippled by them… and still die from the same things that other humans die from..
28 days later zombies are merely humans infected with the “Rage” virus.
BTW, the remake of Dawn of the Dead was spectacular.

mike
March 21, 2014 10:43 am

I just can’t believe that at a time like this we have supposedly “intelligent” people making “nurse” jokes! What’s wrong with you people, anyway!
Google: “charles hurt washington times $75K a day over a pond”. DO IT!!! READ THE ARTICLE!!! And, please, don’t ever say you “didn’t know”, when they frog-march your “Sgt Schultz” wannabe butt to some kangaroo-court, Hague tribunal–O. K.!
Look people, we’re talkin’ the very head of the EPA–Gina McCarthy, for Pete’s sake!–sitting at her headquarters building and loosing her raw and untreated feces–her stool!, her excrement!, her poop!, her “caca boudin”!–into the Potomac River, no less!!!
I can just hear you people, now!: “Hey! A tight-ass obsessive-compulsive, like Gina, what’s the most we’re lookin’ at?–just a few compacted, decorous fecal-pellets, now and then”, you say! “It’s like worrying about rabbit-scat”, you say! “Don’t get so worked up–chill out!”, you say! Well, people, it’s not so simple as that. NO!!! Gina has enlisted all her brainwashed, EPA-underling merde-flunkies, assigned to her headquarters building, to follow her lead and fill up the Potomac–that great historic river–with their own eco-turds, as well! And don’t forget, Gina’s dookie-mafia is made up of vegans (the HORROR!), in the main!!!!
Sometimes I just have to wonder just what kind of “communications strategy” it takes to get you people to give a “shit”, for once!

Man Bearpig
March 21, 2014 10:48 am

Cllimate Zombies. Is that a referebce to the sks kidz?

Crispin in Waterloo
March 21, 2014 11:35 am

What is the point of trying to kill a zombie by destroying their brain when apparently they don’t have/use a brain. This zombie thing has as many internal contradictions as the vampire shows.
What about vampire nurses? Felis Nutrices
And zombie nurses? Crapula Autem Nutrices
What should the bring?
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

Ed Zuiderwijk
March 21, 2014 12:01 pm

Love the chainsaw.

Ed Zuiderwijk
March 21, 2014 12:09 pm
Jeff
March 21, 2014 12:14 pm

For a minute there Ithought you meant Paul Nurse…now that would have been a disaster…..
(to wit: Climate change: we’ve put off the difficult decisions for too long
The debate isn’t whether global warming exists – it’s what we do about it.
link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/10701265/Climate-change-weve-put-off-the-difficult-decisions-for-too-long.html )
(OK, OK, back to nursing my favorite beverage…).

Patricia
March 21, 2014 12:28 pm

But the climate Zombies are already here!

Ralph Kramdon
March 21, 2014 3:18 pm

That’s a good looking nurse. I didn’t notice the rest of the poster.

RWTH
March 21, 2014 4:55 pm

Not sure about lumping asteroid impact in with that lot.

Eugene WR Gallun
March 21, 2014 7:09 pm

gotta love it!
Eugene WR Gallun

Patrick
March 21, 2014 8:22 pm

Best zombie movie IMO is Sean of the Dead. British comedy spoof!

Robert of Texas
March 21, 2014 8:24 pm

I think this has more science behind it than climate change… I will therefore take it more seriously.

March 21, 2014 11:25 pm

I did have a nurse for a recent surgery who looked exactly like that one on the poster. Of course, she only came to me after I had to count backwards and got this glowy feeling. . .

bushbunny
March 22, 2014 12:24 am

Watch ‘Resurrection’ – our time is near. LOL

John R T
March 22, 2014 7:01 pm

littlepeaks says: March 21, 2014 at 9:33 am
“I loved being assigned to cleaning pots and pans, etc, …”
and, because NO ONE bothered me. Best job in the army

bushbunny
March 22, 2014 8:03 pm

Littlepeaks, sure beats being shot at. LOL.