Guest Post by Ira Glickstein.
Oceanographer Gregory Johnson, Lead Author of the IPCC AR5 chapter on marine measurements, has summarized the entire 2,200 pages in 19 nicely illustrated haiku. Haiku is an artful Japanese writing form with a 5-7-5 cadence.
Here is one example that stood out for me.
But IPCC Climate Models seem to get worse over time, see my recent posting.
To his credit, Johnson does acknowledge the “pause” and even attributes some of it to the Sun (low Sunspot cycles?). But also to volcanos, and, of course, all that heat hiding in the oceans.
I did a search on “WUWT haiku” and found this much better example from Willis Eschenbach’s the Moon is a Cold Mistress:
O beautiful full moon!
Circling the pond all night
even to the end
Matsuo Basho, 1644-1694
==========================================================
Speaking of Haikus, this was posted on The Weather Channel recently. – Anthony
Academics shriek
‘all that happens proves my faith
press all say ‘amen’
More grant money sates
angry academic gods
lapping at the trough
Source:
Temp rise is only past due if temp rise is expected. If temp rise is not expected, then the climate is doing just fine.
[Right, which is why the haiku that claims climate models are getting better is a “no clue haiku”. The IPCC models predict temp rise HANDCUFFED to CO2 rise. CO2 rise continues but temps are level, which proves climate models are getting worse. Ira]
Climate models fail
Climatologists predict
More man made warming
We are always right
Models are always correct
Must hide the decline
Models diverge more
Reality must be wrong
See we are correct
It is really cold
This just proves global warming
Send us more money
One could as easily say the earth is at the top of a plateau and temperatures are about to fall.
Possibly limericks would be more fit for the IPPC and the fifth report. Has anybody a good one?
And then there is from the lovely Gary Snyder. This from The Back Country:
Scrap brass
dumpt off the fantail
falling six miles
Is this like the one arm fisherman holding up his one good hand and saying ‘I caught a fish this long’
I especially like the “selective heat sequestration” property of the ocean. Amazing that it just seems to ‘know’ to sequester now and knew not not to sequester 20 years ago. It’s so.. so.. cute!
Ah now where’s Kim when you need her?
Nature cares little
For the thoughts of professors
Seeking its own course
Model oracle
Godot punctuality
Cold tears of a clown
Recent non warming
not predicted by models.
It’s a travesty.
The first time I saw this, it seemed very profound. Since then, others have said similar things. I don’t know if this is the first occurrence, but it is short:
“John Silver says:
December 30, 2013 at 9:13 am
It’s not a pause, it’s a peak.”
doesn’t that give you a chill? If he’s right, it will, someday…
Haikus must be the most abused of all art forms. They look like what was left on the cutting table when someone tried to assemble a proper poem. Now, most conventional poems don’t make any sense either, but at least they rhyme.
Here is my Haiku, obtained from one of several on-line Haiku generators:
fires sicken, nectars
oozing, brightly, grassy souls
wailing, squealing eels
As good as any I have seen.
Climate politics
make the people cold and wet
talk all hot and dry
heats gone hiding
who can tell
haiku may hide it
down the well
[The mods are refraining from line counting, spelling, ryhmning, rythymning, tyming, thyming, or syllabication correction on this thread. …]
Nothing new below
Drought, flood, summer heat or cold
Ice cuts through BS
Winter vortex chills,
“Just weather,” experts declaim
Drought, though, is climate
Australia was hot at Christmas
climate change it was
a turkey
PS – Johnson cheated, he didn’t use Kigos – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kigo
a new fallacy to contend with
appeal to haiku
they’ll stop at nothing to convince us of whats NOT happening with the models is actually happening eventually, sorta, soon, probably, because the poem said so
Roses are red
Violets are blue
weather is happening
oh and climate change too
J. Herbst says:
January 20, 2014 at 2:36 pm
Possibly limericks would be more fit for the IPPC and the fifth report. Has anybody a good one?
There once was a lady from Regina … I’ll stop there …
Bent stick, herring red.
Numbers “rise”, everyone “fries”:
Fish for their wallets!
climate never was
the reason behind the chains
that tried to bind you
Johnson goes haiku
Global warming may wacku
But felt nothing…thacku
J. Herbst says:@ January 20, 2014 at 2:36 pm
Possibly limericks would be more fit for the IPPC and the fifth report. Has anybody a good one?
………………………
Rob aka Flatlander says: @ January 20, 2014 at 3:46 pm
There once was a lady from Regina … I’ll stop there …
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The limerick packs versus anatomical
In a form that is most economical
But the good ones I’ve seen so seldom are clean
But the clean ones so seldom are comical ~ Dr. Asimov
There once was a fellow named Mann
Who came up with a clever plan
Mikes Nature trick
was to invent the Hockey Stick
Then sue whoever he can
Roses are red
Violets are blue
With one extra line
This ain’t haiku
I just don’t understand how the land can warm more than the sea. To be sure the land is more violent in its temperature changes, but as someone who lives under the influence of a sea breeze, if it gets too hot the sea will regulate the land. Too clever for me!
The climate scientists need to take a class on information entrophy.
They are clueless when it comes to things like degrees of freedom.
Sir step away from your coefficients.
Predictions fail. Must
add more auxiliary
hypotheses.
Model twisting in
Wind. Not that that matters much.
It’s still well funded.
See Jack
See Jack run
Run Jack, run.
See Spot.
See Spot run.
Run Spot, run.
Why does Jack run?
Why does Spot run?
See Gregory Johnson.
See Gregory Johnson paint.
Paint Gregory Johnson, paint.
See our money.
See our money burn.
Burn money, burn.
See Gregory Johnson describe the mechanism behind gravity.
See Gregory Johnson paint.
See Gregory Johnson reconcile Quantum physics with Relativity theory.
See Gregory Johnson paint.
See Gregory Johnson explain consciousness, sentience, the smile response, separation anxiety, stranger anxiety, aggressor identification, cultural identification, political and social structures, history and his knowledge of such to leave our children a better world.
See Gregory Johnson blather.
Blather Gregory Johnson, blather.
See Gregory Johnson paint and blather.
See Gregory Johnson bloviate.
See Gregory Johnson paint, blather, and bloviate.
See our lifestyles.
See Gregory Johnson paint over our lifestyles.
See people swoon over Gregory Johnson’s talent.
Gregory Johnson has no talent.
See Jack run.
Run Jack, run.
There was a poor doctor called Mann
whose hockey stick graph had some fans
Until M and M saw
that the graph had a flaw
Mann should put the graph in the can.
I’m not a fan of attempted haiku in English.
First, in English syllables are less well defined than Japanese on. (Com – for – tab – le = four syllables, maybe? But when pronounced “comf-tble”, is it two or three?)
Second, English does not have a standard stock of season words.
(For more on the structure of haiku:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku )
In English it seem to me that haiku are produced by those who wish to seem fashionable and those who are too lazy to master metre, rhyme, etc.
Puke. I just looked at them all. Sad, depressing nonsense. Mostly lies. I feel sad for Gregory Johnson because his view of the world is so depressing (and not tied to reality).
At the ocean’s depths
the missing heat rests
mocking my models
Noble cause pursued
Only to find one’s life spent
Chasing a phantom
There once was CRU named Hadley,
whose scientists behaved quite badly.
They meddled and meddled
until their science was settled.
And we’ve all had to pay for it, sadly.
The 16 year pause is alarming
The Antarctic ice must be harming
…All weather’s the same
…Climate change is to blame
‘Cause everything proves global warming.
Stand on the shore
Eyes on the horizon
Wait for sloshing
If these pathetic examples are haiku, then I’m William Shakespeare and I watch porcine aerobatics out my library window every morning after breakfast. RoHa, you’re being far too polite. These amateurish attempts have nothing to do with haiku. [I reject the absurd notion that the ability to count to seventeen is any sign of haiku artistry.]
No warming sixteen.
The public is bamboozled.
Skeptics shall save us.
jorgekafkazar says: @ January 20, 2014 at 5:51 pm
If these pathetic examples are haiku, then I’m William Shakespeare ..
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Your the 17th Earl of Oxford?
Actually most are satire.
There once was a wish on a planet
that life would stay simple like granite
so plan it they did
and the coldness they hid
til their toes did fall off, godamnit
There once was a fellow named Mike
who invented a termperature spike.
The greenies all swooned
now the earth won’t be ruined,
just the people from whom we’ll all taik.
(OK, OK, it’s a stretch….but the poetic models say….)
Goodness, even had an unintended typo there….sorry…
There once was a fellow named Mike
who invented a temperature spike.
The greenies all swooned
now the earth won’t be ruined,
just the people from whom we’ll all taik.
(OK, OK, it’s a stretch….but the poetic models say….)
Perhaps more Lowku than Haiku?
(Might be appropriate considering what solar and wind are doing to the environment…and our wallets…)
There once was a molecule in flight
that was semitransparent to light
It got all the blame
though the proof was quite lame
“why should I give a darn ’bout their plight”
At one time I was using my Stihl
in an effort to combat the chill
the tree looked at me
whilst it said, earily
“I can widen my grain pattern at will”
Something I wrote in 1965 at the Aspen School of Contemporary Art:
world tomato
red and ripe
soon will rot
bacteria
Still don’t know what the hell I meant…
Here’s another from that summer:
The Dead Pony
my pony is dead and it’s funny
a pony is dead if never born
my pony was never born
I never had a pony
I never wanted one
Come on
No Nantucket?
Peterson, line 2 of proof ” pony is dead if neverborn” / refuted vs buffy the vampire slayer et al.
There once was a ship from Nantucket
Which got stuck in the ice like a bucket.
When they called in distress
And the copters were blessed
And the science that they gathered did suck it
Rev 1:
There once was a ship from Nantucket
Which got stuck in the ice like a bucket.
When they called in distress
And the copter was blessed
But the science they gathered did suck it
There was a Mann from Penn State
Whose hockey stick did not hesitate
To misrepresent the past
Through an incompetent cast
The temperature record they did inflate
Late to the party
But that doesn’t matter much
Flat Seventeen Years
There once was a clan from Nantucket
for whom noone was worth carrying their bucket
as they pushed their decree
to perhaps fight one degree
they thought, now those damn injuns can suck it.
Won’t you excuse me?
I took your grants and then lied
But for a good cause.
sorry same words, gimme 5
Warming and funding
A quantum entanglement
Up as one — and down!
There was a sad clan from Nantucket
for whom skiing and flying had no luck it
was said in the air
also said on the chair
if you can’t see where you’re going don’t tuck it.
(ohh, I am sooo sorry)
A guy named Keith got a call
“We need hockey sticks quite tall!”
Keith then replied
“I will give it a try
using a magic tree from Yamal”
Consider Al Gore
Bloviating CO2
Watt is up with that.
[GREAT, I like all the haiku (and limericks) but this one especially nails it for me. Thanks. Ira]
Hi, clueless.
People with guilty conscience
embrace all kinds of atonement,
including green religion.
CO2 goes up,
Warmists intone haikus; yet
Temperatures are flat.
Row, pole, pull your boat
Carefully up the stream.
Warily, charily, quite contrarily:
Life is not a dream.
Just a parody that came to me a few days ago. I know–send it back. It was fun, though. I’m not a poet, professional or otherwise, but I did teach English for the last four years of my career, including English haiku, limericks, quatrains, sonnets, and other poetic forms. I appreciate the efforts of contributors here to catch the spirit of poetry while exposing or explaining something about the current situation–something most poetry was never meant to do. At least haiku in Japan were meant to comment on nature, which the ones in this thread do also, at least tangentially.
Waiting for the storm,
We hear the weathermen say,
“This one’s a doozy.”
Can we explain it
As just more global warming?
Sure; but we’ll be wrong.
We can only hope
Electric power stays on.
If not, ’twill be cold.
KIM, KIM, KIM where are you. Help !!!
The truly sad thing is not the haikus but the comments after the article on the original website – amongst other comments are teachers frothing at the mouth to use it in their classes…smh…
Scientists don’t know
where all the heat has gone to.
No one hears their scream….
It’s not CO2
It isn’t galactic rays
But money warms all
Charlie Johnson (@SemperBanU) says: @ January 20, 2014 at 9:53 pm
I really like that limerick, but the haiku leave me cold
Data does not fit
So we leave out the bad points.
Now all is perfect.
From Hubby.
The Tempest heat
To Mann sells her belief
Nemesis just smiles
As she holds a hockey stick
RoHa says:
January 20, 2014 at 5:19 pm
###
While I tend to agree that most attempts at haiku in English are lame, I have seen some wonderful ones. A month or so ago, one was posted as a comment here at WUWT. It even had a season word and a proper haiku last line. I should have bookmarked it.
Revisions (and additions)
There once was a compound in flight
that was semitransparent to light
it got all the blame
(though the proof was quite lame)
“why should I give a damn ’bout their plight”
At one time I was using my Stihl
in an effort to stave off the chill
the tree looked at me,
whilst it said, eerily,
“I can widen my grain width at will”
OK. New.
There once was a man named Al Gore
who had to settle a score
has was made quite mad
by a hanging chad
And decided to make up a lore.
The internet that he created
was from the beginning, fated
to spread the warning
of global warming
thus he snared the masses he baited.
Maybe another noble poetry form could be posted on markers in the Arctic and Antarctic
for “vacationing” scientists (or was that scientific vacationers?) to help them on their way:
Missing heat
Models fail
No poles are bare
Warmists wail
Burma shave
Watts crew: Nice haiku
and great limericks that rhyme.
A very happy time.
C O 2 goes up
but temperatures are flat.
Climate models fail.
Climate will change
in a reasonable range.
Humans will adapt.
We once had a VP named Gore,
Who thought carbon was evil for sure,
– He hopped on a stage,
– And in a great rage,
A curse against C O 2 swore.
We now have a Skeptic named Watts,
Who counters Alarmist robots,
– He has a website,
– That’s viewed day and night,
And helps us connect all the dots.
Tightly handcuffed to C O 2,
Climate Models don’t have a clue,
– Set them free,
– Let them be,
Truthful and useful to me and you.
Ira
RoHa says:
January 20, 2014 at 5:19 pm
Agreed. Haiku don’t work very well in English.
Curiously, save for a very few exceptions that end in ‘n’, all Japanese words end with a vowel sound: ah ee oo eh oh
Obviously, it would be very easy for the Japanese to compose rhymes if they so desired, and apparently there are rhyming forms in Japanese, and then there is Japanese Pop.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_poetry
I would recommend study or enjoyment of haiku in their native Japanese;
this is one of the most famous, by Basho
古池や
蛙飛び込む
水の音
Furu ike ya
Kawazu tobikomu
Mizu no oto
Oh, the ancient pond
The frog takes a flying leap
The sound of water
Finally, this little ditty that I intended to post on the ‘econo flush’ threat, but I read, instead:
There’s more than just
Numbers 1 and 2
What gets flushed
Down the loo too
thread, not threat, but then again….
There once was a man named Turney
Who planned an antarctic journey
He thought it was warm
Yet ice is the norm
He now needs a good attorney
Eugene WR Gallun
I prefer pentameter, well I prefer the heroic couplet but that’s hard. Haiku is really easy if you have nothing useful to say.
Oh Mann et al. release your data now.
You say the change is real, so show us how.
Science depends on verifications,
so release it now and show the nations
you are not a fraud but a scientist,
and found a trend that reality missed.
I can claim I can turn lead into gold;
without proof I would never be so bold.
Well, you tell us we should accept your truth:
when questioned you call names and act uncouth.
But..
You’re just a fraud and not a scientist;
the record shows you throw out smoke and mist.
Your theory denies observable fact
so you and your buddies have made a pact;
to tell the lefties what they want to hear
and sell us all on a climate of fear
fear untruth fear fear
polar bears drown fictitious
liar liar pants on fire
Impressive Resumé.
With all that you’ll know the value of feed forward & feedbacks.
DaveE.