Friday Funny – Seth Borenstein's best headline evah

Gosh, who knew?

obama_day_to_day

Borenstein writes:

In September, campaigning in Colorado, Obama was talking to a potential voter who mentioned he had been one of the hundreds of thousands of people outdoors at Obama’s bone-chilling first inaugural when the noontime temperature was an unseasonable chilly 28 degrees. Obama promised: “This one is going to be warmer.”

Scientifically, the president doesn’t have control of day-to-day weather. While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale, they cannot do anything about Washington’s daily temperature on Jan. 21.

Source: http://cnsnews.com/news/article/ap-obama-doesnt-have-control-day-day-weather

Words just completely fail me here. All I can do is laugh, and wonder if new newspaper gig is in Seth’s future, I hear there’s an opening.

WeeklyWorldNews2[1]

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DirkH

He’ll bypass congress with an executive order. That should do the trick.

Other_Andy

Small fry for someone who can stop the rise of the oceans and heal the planet….

David Oliver Smith

You haven’t heard “Obama flaps his lips and it rains in China”?

Green Sand

Scientifically, the president doesn’t have control of day-to-day weather.

When you have the ear of Hansen, there is no need to control day-to-day weather.

jim bishop

Quality newspapers you seem to have in th US, thank heaven for the internet.

Taphonomic

“While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale”
I like the use of the word “projected” in there. One has to question: how exactly?
Even the IPCC and Hansen seem to be lessening future “projected” global warming. This kinda makes one think that when a scientific prediction fails to materialize, it’s time to chuck your hypothesis.

jeff 5778

He is a joke and the right people aren’t laughing.

Kurt in Switzerland

Excellent, Dirk!
The President, by Executive Order, can and should adjust the temperature readings (by adding values for the multivariate el Nin ̃o index, aerosol optical thickness data and total solar irradiance); and if that’s not sufficient, he can always change the past!
Kurt in Switzerland

Joe Public

It depends upon whether you want it to rain or not.

FerdinandAkin

Not to worry, Dr. James Hansen will simply adjust the GISS record, and by the end of the month what President Obama said will be historically correct.

Mark and two Cats

If it’s cold he can just tell his thralls that it’s warm and they will unquestioningly believe him.
“Question Authority” only applies to non-leftists; they happily swallow the BS of obama and the warmunists.
WAR IS PEACE – FREEDOM IS SLAVERY – IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH – COLD IS WARM

Severian

Yeah, he would, but the evil Bushitler and Darth Cheney hid the keys to the weather machine they used to make Katrina hit Nawlins with! Gotta be Bush’s fault, everything else seems to be.

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7

Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.

Paul Westhaver

I saw this on Drudge today. It made me smile. So the ethereal moving light Obama commands not the natural forces? Be he not a creature in the Godly Realm but that of human flesh. Oh woe is me. I have looked upon the image of God and alas, I saw merely an unworn suit.

Mark Bofill

“Let it be known that this was the day the oceans stopped rising and the planet began to heal.” Maybe statements like these build up unrealistic expectations among the faithful. ~shrug~

CodeTech

It wasn’t 28 degrees last time. The weather last time was perfectly fine. I am able to control the weather. This year will be completely awesome. These are not the droids you’re looking for.
(try this: http://verybadfrog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/These-are-not-the-droids-youre-looking-for-6.jpg )

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.
=================================================
Well, farmers pray for rain when needed and sunshine…. I think snow would be okay, too. Especially seeing that it’s for the children!

John W. Garrett

Borenstein is a professional regurgitator.
There’s not an ounce of independent thought or judgment anywhere in sight.

Geoff

I’ve been wondering if Obama is going to stick around for a billion years to prevent the earth from being consumed by the sun when it becomes a red giant.

zefal

I still contain control of the day to day weather. obama and his cronies still haven’t been able to locate me. All I can say is if osama bin laden had my travel agent, he would still be alive. Must go now; the Belize authorities are closing in.

Obama can always prove his messianic powers by sitting on his throne near the low tide line at the Bay of Fundy and command the incoming tide to reverse and flow outward.

u.k.(us)

He emerged from the bowels of the Chicago political machine, the most corrupt city, in the most corrupt state, in our union.
Never vetted, never tested, worst of all, never questioned.
The fourth estate lives in fear of being shunned his attentions.

Mac the Knife

jeff 5778 says:
January 18, 2013 at 12:40 pm
“He is a joke and the right people aren’t laughing.”
Very good, Jeff!
David Oliver Smith says:
January 18, 2013 at 12:35 pm
“You haven’t heard “Obama flaps his lips and it rains in China”?”
Even better, David!
MtK

Greg Goodman

Taphonomic says:
“While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale”
I like the use of the word “projected” in there. One has to question: how exactly?
Congratulations, you have won the mystery prise. You spotted weasel word.
Pres. Obama can do sweet F.A. about future global warming but he probably can “on a large scale” affect _projected_ warming, ie. he can affect the _projections_ .
By failing to use his influence with the state attorney, in his home state of Illinois, to ensure that self-confessed criminal Peter Gliek does not get exempted from prosecution. By allowing his employee Hansen to continue using his role as a NASA scientist to give undue credibility to his activist ventures and to allow him to continue making considerable sums from outside activities, contrary to regulations for government employees.
Yes, he probably can lessen or worsen future global warming projections to a large degree.
So far the evidence is that he intends to use his office to worsen them.

RockyRoad

I am at a loss for words. Now mind you, I have a lot of sneering, even evil thoughts, but I shall remain wordless.

Kelly

According to Newsweek this will be the second coming. I would imagine when the heavens open up that will make things pretty toasty. Maybe toastier for some than others.

Steve Thatcher

Mark Bofill says:
January 18, 2013 at 1:43 pm
“Let it be known that this was the day the oceans stopped rising and the planet began to heal.” Maybe statements like these build up unrealistic expectations among the faithful. ~shrug~
**************************************************************************************************
That would make Obama just like another King Cnut.
Oh, nad before you sak there is no dyslexia in my family.
Steve T.

Oh. Bummer!

handjive

Pelosi: Obama can’t control the weather
“There are some decisions that are made from a different place and whether it rains or not is not in the president’s control.”
http://thehill.com/conventions-2012/dem-convention-charlotte/247641-pelosi-obamas-good-but-cant-control-the-weather
In Australia, we have proof a carbon (sic) tax & trade doesn’t work.
The Australian PM, JuLiar Galah’d, who introduced a carbon (sic) tax after pledging not to, in her “letter to Australians” on Jan 2013, says,” We’ll never again see a world without global warming.”
http://www.michaelsmithnews.com/2013/01/the-prime-ministers-letter-to-australians-first-printed-in-news-ltd-publications.html#
Obviously an admittance that a tax on an atmospheric gas doesn’t work.
What is the carbon (sic) tax for?
PS. Google the ‘galah’ for further info. It’s not a word of endearment in Oz.

Of course El Presidente can control the temperature.
That’s what thermo-nuclear is all about. Istn’t it?

Gareth

When I used to visit the US I used to love reading the World Weekly News. It’s a great American Institution – a bit like James Hansen. No comment about Obama though, he’s your business 🙂

Sam Schulz

Gosh I miss the Weekly World News. Admittely Time and Newsweek are just as reliable but no where near as creative.

Steve Thatcher says:
January 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm
Mark Bofill says:
January 18, 2013 at 1:43 pm
“Let it be known that this was the day the oceans stopped rising and the planet began to heal.” Maybe statements like these build up unrealistic expectations among the faithful. ~shrug~
**************************************************************************************************
That would make Obama just like another King Cnut.
Oh, nad before you sak there is no dyslexia in my family.
Steve T.
*
HAHAHAHAHA! Thank you, Steve! That is hilarious! It’s going on my wall. 🙂

Robin Hewitt

Don’t forget, the weather can be controlled by careful positioning of Al Gore.

They should call in Ex-Senator Tim Wirth who is infamous for creating the temperature conditions for events on Capitol Hill. He arranged conditions suitable for James Hansen’s appearance in 1988 by bringing hot air from outside.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/hotpolitics/interviews/wirth.html
For the inauguration, he could open the windows again and let all the hot air from the politicians warm the proceedings.

Mike McMillan

By BY SETH BORENSTEIN, Associated Press
Prophetic?
Misspelled bye, BTW.

kim

He’s heard of Tim Wirth’s trick and is planning to open the windows.
============

James McCauley

Gareth,
WWN ceased publishing years ago, but I just checked and it’s online now – some of the best of the U.S. at your fingertips – wherever! What a find. I’m thrilled.
When some DC related topics come up I sometimes shrug at the thought that someday BHO will be sipping umbrella drinks somewhere in between guffaws at how unbelievably stupid and gullible enough of the “counted” U.S. voters were to elect such an opportunistic fraud to the most powerful Government position on earth and love him for it.
Barnum’s “A sucker’s born every minute.” has been buried by “The greatest nation’s suckers render the U.S. oblivious to the debates.” Here’s hoping there’s a mess to clean up.
That being said WChannel says 43F and partly cloudy on Monday. All’s to be well in the nearly wealthiest district in the US.

DesertYote

“While his policies can lessen or worsen future projected global warming on a large scale, ”
###
I am pretty sure that “The One” designs his policies to maximize fear and uncertainty, so his policies will most likely encourage the scariest warming projections.

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm

Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.

Oh no, please, please pray for memorable snows, and it doesn’t take much on Inauguration Day to be memorable. It will help dissuade Congress (and Obama’s Executive Order form) from spending our income on harebrained climate control schemes.
While I do love good snow storms, the video of Air Force 1 landing in snow bringing the President home a day early from the Copenhagen COP was well worth losing that blizzard to the mid-Atlantic. I think DC needs a few reminders this year.

Pamela Gray

Either Obama is in on the entire sordid affair, which makes him a con man wanting to run the US into the ground, or he was duped by the entire sordid affair, which makes him too stupid to run the US anywhere but into the ground.

Richard Keen

…Obama’s bone-chilling first inaugural when the noontime temperature was an unseasonable chilly 28 degrees.
Unseasonable? in January? When should chilly weather occur?

DaveA

This revelation will upset a lot of people.

kim

Dang, Tim Ball beat me to the Tim Wirth joke by 15 minutes. I couldn’t read his because it was still in moderation. The best part of the joke is Obama thinking he could open windows and heat up the joint. You can in Chicago.
=============

john robertson

@ Pamela Gray, thats true of all the activists and enablers, either corrupt or drooling nitwits.
Seth Bore-stein is shown up for his “unbiased” reporting skills in Climate-gate 1.
I wonder if he writes his own material or just takes dictation.

actuator

NWS forecasts a low of 30F and a high of 39, so it will be warmer, but not noticeably so.

Gerard

Why not an executive order that all thermometers be adjusted up by 6 degrees – problem solved!

Gail Combs

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7 says:
January 18, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Moral question: Is it sinful of me to pray for snow? Just for the sake of all the children who might never see another snowfall of course.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I am an agnostic and I’m praying for a nice “Extreme” Blizzard. A nice Polar Express would be lovely right now.

Chris Nelli

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: Seth Borenstein is the worst.

Skeptik

Steve Thatcher says:
January 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm
That would make Obama just like another King Cnut.
Hardly
King Cnut tried to hold back the tide to show his fawning supporters that he wasn’t omnipotent, this hardly applies to B.O.