The image below is from the Whisky powered Row to The Pole publicity stunt.
It needs a caption. I’m sure WUWT readers will be able to provide several.
My caption suggestion is below. Winner gets 1000 carbon credits in a frameable certificate, redeemable someplace, but not here.
My caption:
“Just a few more whacks, and the death spiral will start…”
Keeping this ice melted is a never ending job….
well there is no shortage of blue ice for my whiskey
“We should have used a submarine instead”
“Keep going. Anthony says there have to be some polar bears left around here somewhere.”
“That doesn’t look anything like Michael Mann.”
“Anthony, I have to say. You look stunning in that suit.”
I told you, I parked it right there!
“That’ll make sure they don’t use any more ice core data to show any warming trends.”
“Thank goodness for global warming. Remember when we used to have to wear heavy parkas when we did this work?”
“I knew it was going to be bad if Republicans won the election, but I wasn’t expecting all climate scientists to be exiled to Siberia to do hard labor.”
Don’t stand next to the edge, we’ve reached a tipping point!
Hey, idiot, I didn’t park the boat under the ice!
Where did this thick ice come from it is suppose to be thinning or gone.
Zero net carbon emissions icebreaker!
“I said the North Pole, not Australia… Stop digging and lay off the Scotch!!!”
“I’m gonna kick Mann’s ass when I get home.”
“Just a little bit bigger, and we’ll be able to fit another EPA employee.”
We can bury that Hockey Stick right here.
Conan the Ice Barbarian prepares to slay a Global Warming Demon
Keep digging, that box of Mann UVA emails they purged from the mail server is frozen in this ‘berg, I just know it!
“One lump, or two?”
“When’s that global warming gonna get here so we can get this damn boat out of the ice?”
“In a few years all the ice golf courses will be gone. FORE!”
Feel free to do as you wish with it but my submission comes as a picture
http://s2.b3ta.com/host/creative/47549/1314154238/fortheplanet.jpg
I didn’t bother with the HTML, I guess image tags don’t work.
This hockey stick will make quick work of this ice
“BAD ice… BAD, bad BAD ice.”
“Catastrophic ice melt? Bullshit!”
Proof that the thinning of Arctic ice is due to human activities.
“I’m sure the North Pole is in here somewhere…”
Time Warp: “It’s a jump to the left…. ”
LOL
“Once this is completely broken up, we’ll be able to blame the loss of Arctic ice on Obama.”
“Exhuming these polar bears is thirsty work… Pass the Scotch!”
Don’t just stand there……Help me get rid of this ice.
Polar golf course. 8th tee, par 4
“I told you a white ball was a bad idea Jim.”
“At least in real real prison ya get three squares a day and they only have to break big rocks into small ones … ”
.
Thank goodness they have a rescue boat nearby.
“Look, I don’t know why either. But I don’t ask why. Like any good WUWT reader, I just do what Anthony tells me to do.”
Let’s kill another polar bear for dinner.
“As summer in the Arctic ends, and the ice begins to increase, the two intrepid explorers decide to make an igloo and hole up for the next 6 months, ready to continue their brave search for the North Pole next melt season.”
Wait! That’s a hockey stick, not an ice axe.
Guy on left says: I’m tellin’ you, the recipe calls for shaved ice, not crushed!”
~or~
“Hurry up and finish him off! They’re flying over for the count in 10 minutes.”
“Hit it solid… If you get out of the bunker, we’ll head for the nineteenth hole!”
Why am I using a pickaxe? You said this ice was rotten!
Goddamit! These polar bear cubs just won’t die.
I’m SURE we left the pole around here somewhere!!
“I’m not sure that this is what the mission plan meant by icebreaker…”
I’m sure I saw that pole is here somewhere, I’ll another, on the rocks please.
The Tragedy of Global Warming Climate Change Climate Disruption threatens the very existance of many animal species, including the Polar Bear, the Penguin, and the Yellow Suited Boobie. Give generously to the Rajendra and Saroj Pachauri Foundation, and help keep the ice from thinning to the point where Penguins overheat, Polar Bears swim to exhaustion, and the Boobies succeed in smashing the support from beneath their feet and drown.
Act now, before its too late! The first seventy five thousand pledges of $5 or more will receive 500,000 credits from the Chicago Climate Exchange (a $19.95 value!) and 100 free copies of the sizzling page turner Return to Almora.
“Hey look, a seal.” Man continues his respectful pursuit of the Arctic.
The first climate scientist to resist peer pressure.
They said the scotch was only under a foot of snow!!
“You imbecile! I told you that portable potty vendor was a crook! You’re digging the next one!”
“I’m not sure that this is what the mission plan meant by “icebreaker”…”
Didn’t you use my GPS to park the sub here?
Does anyone know if Polar Bears are attracted to yellow?
Dude, just put it down, nothing you can do with that thing that will keep us from looking like phreaking idiots
Looks like Boudreaux and Thibodeaux done got dem selves a new job moving dat big pak ice around in da big pond!
Can’t you wait until I finish digging the latrine?
Whiskey on the rocks.
That polar bear has to be here somewhere.
Drown! .. you! .. ..damn! ,….bear….!!
Sorry, no caption, but the scene reminded me of the episode of Fawlty Towers where Basil, frustrated that his car will not start, admonishes it and attacks it with a tree branch:
http://youtu.be/5uIsiOf08Pw
It’s analogous to the ice not having melted as required, so the AGW believer is taking matters into his own hands.
“Who would of thought ice floats!”
Are you sure this is how we make rotten ice?
“Global puff warming puff will uh kill us puff a..$%#&* ouch! my foot!”
The Iceman Cometh.
Al Gore said the whisky was here, keep digging. We have to find, or our mission is a failure.
“Let’s excavate coal…….to warm ourselves. “
“Mike’s efforts to build a giant wedding cake out of the ice failed to impress the watching Susan.”
I’ve been working on the rail road, All the live-long day….
The aft cabin boys work off their hangovers after a late night jackanory session
“You’re chopping up the oars to start a fire because you’re too cold ??!!!… that will just make more global warming and you’ll cause even more cold !!! Please stop now and follow proper warming logic then we will all be saved…!!!…??? By the way… any there any more oars?”
“Stanley? That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into! ;-{ “
You said to “Hide the decline!” Well, dag nabit, that’s exactly what I am doing, hiding it!
Jock hit it on the head when he said there were no polar bears around.
Well then. You go your way and I’ll go mine.
Ice loss in the Artic is obviously caused by humans.
“Hey, what color is polar bear pee?”
Note for WUWT: Playing on words without being terse, here’s an attempt, for better or verse…
Despite magnetic personalities bar none, the publicity stunters’ had a row and went whacky over the polar plan their crew cuts short.
Or more simply put….
Bewildered rowers thought they found the pole, only to discover it was an optical Aleutian.
“Damn Pole has to be here somewhere.”
“There’s gotta be an easier way to get Scotch on the rocks.”
” ‘We won’t need an icebreaker’, you said. ‘No, the Arctic all melted’. @ssh0le”
“Chip faster! The photographer is waiting for a clear shot of the ice-free water.”
“So you gave an interview to WUWT and said there was plenty of ice up here hey? What we have here, is a failure……to communicate”
Out, out, damned ice!
We dedicate this excavation to the construction of the next “Mann’s Refrigerators for Eskimos Emporium” franchise.
Stupid ice! It’s almost September. Why haven’t you melted yet?
“If I had a hammer, I’d get hammered in the morning…
I’d get hammered in the evening,
and blame it on the tea party.”
“I’m sure that I left my car keys around here somewhere!”
Rotten bl**dy ice!!!!
The news accompanying the photo….
After their boat having been destroyed, the enterprising explorers carved out a boat from a large chunk of floating ice and navigated it to nearest land 300 miles away,
The caption…
“Because you’re the one who fell asleep with a lit cigarette”
Are you sure about that club selection, spud? This is looks like more of a four iron shot to me.
How will we recognize the pole when we see it?
Maybe we should just row over the peninsula instead.
Keep going we have to vindicate Al’s arctic claim.
Soon Mr Bond there’ll be no ice left for your martinis !
Yeah, yeah, yeah … I know the plan says to row directly north. We “could” just go AROUND this bloody iceberg instead of chopping through the thing ……. But Nooooo, “you” wanted to go straight north ….
“Man vs. Climate”
Note for WUWT: Playing on words without being terse, here’s an attempt, for better or verse…
Despite magnetic personalities bar none, the publicity stunters had a row and went whacky over a polar plan their crew cuts short.
(opps – earlier entry edited for typos)
“Too bad the crew of the Titanic didn’t think of this back then…”
Clear that ice. Anthony said we need photos of the Stevenson Screen from four directions.
Must proofread before hitting button:
“Chip faster! The photographer is waiting for a clear shot of the ice-free /w/a/t/e/r/ Arctic.”
Ben says:
August 23, 2011 at 8:37 pm (Edit)
Or more simply put….
Bewildered rowers thought they found the pole, only to discover it was an optical Aleutian.
Rowers dig a hole in the ice so the north magnetic pole can poke through …
“EPA Approved Ice Breaker.”
5 million sq km……..4.99999999 sq km……….4.999999998 sq km…… Hey Bob! how long have I got?
“Research proves Eskimo ice breakers carbon footprint much smaller than hydrocarbon powered ice breakers! With government subsidies, the Northwest passage could be the next job boon for unemployed Americans.”
“Gore shows the climate who’s Boss”
“Travel all this way to get away from it all and what do I find? A plague of baby seals!
“I don’t care what the map says, there’s no way the Aztecs came all the way out here to bury their gold.”
“Classified FEMA Labor Camp for Deniers Discovered”
Drive that pole good and deep, John Henry.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xd8jaZp9YE&w=640&h=390]
July 4, 2100
With the Eddy Minimum in full swing, the lead pair at the Chicago Summer Golf Classic again made it to the third hole before being chased off by polar bears.
Oh just bust it up and stop worrying. We’ll photoshop ourselves out of the pic later.
“Season 2 Gold Rush Alaska”
Are you stupid? OF COURSE we’ll photoshop the pickaxe out of the pic as well as ourselves.
That’s exactly the right pose I think. Snap the shot already, we’ll photoshop the iceberg in later.
First we gotta whack the baby seals. Now we gotta whack the baby Polar Bears — and the whiskey ain’t helping!
I love reading all these captions, but my favorite so far is from Poptech:
“EPA Approved Ice Breaker.”
Thanks for the belly laugh!
I’m not playing…I can’t afford to be given free carbon credits…
Take the d@&(^!! pic already! It’s over 90 degrees in the studio AND we’re in these f$^%&ing parcas, we’ll die of freakin’ heat exhaustion, we’ll photoshop the d^%$% iceberg in later.
All right, whose the moron who photoshopped this thing? You put me holding the pickaxe backwards!
“Damn you ice! stop mocking my model!!!!!” <-man with axe
"So we're getting paid for this, right?? <-man with WTF stance
NO! NO! NO!
You reveresed me now! I said to reverse the pickaxe!
EPA Dissenters Gulag Work Brigade
OF COURSE the pickaxe has to be the right way, that’s why the photoshop guy is reversing it!
What?
NO! You can leave DATA reversed, it doesn’t work for pickaxes!
What do you mean why?
BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE KNOW WHICH WAY A PICKAXE GOES, THAT’S WHY!
OF COURSE the pickaxe has to be the right way, that’s why the photoshop guy is reversing it!
What?
NO! You can’T leave DATA reversed, it doesn’t work for pickaxes!
What do you mean why?
BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE KNOW WHICH WAY A PICKAXE GOES, THAT’S WHY!
had to fix type. Can’t instead of can. Or was it the other way around? How do the tree rings work again?
“Found you, Doctor Trotsky! And you thought your climate denial could escape the long arm of the TEAM!”
Uhh, Beavis? I don’t think this is the real magnetic pole. I think someone buried a B-52 nose-down here.
— Ed
“Science is hard.”
“whatcha goin’ do with the drunken sailor . . . “
Santa has got to be here some where…!!!! its not like Mann and his hokey schtick… Santa’s REAL! REAL I SAY!
Uhm… maybe that’s deep enough. If we poke a hole in the bottom it might sink.
Mick says:
“Time Warp: ‘It’s a jump to the left…. ‘
LOL”
You bring back fond memories: click
The Rocky Horror Picture Show started the carreers of actors like Meatloaf and Susan Sarandon.
And while I’m linking, here’s a great enviro parody:
There ain’t room on this berg for both of us.
“Hollow earth” my foot!
“Sitting on a cornflake,
Waiting for the van to come . . . . .
. . . . . I am the eggman, Oh they are the eggmen
I AM THE WALRUS, Goo Goo G’joob.”
“Damn banjos! They’re EVERYWHERE!!!”
~or~
“No, No, Larry! Use a wedge and you can make par!!”
Perhaps it was a bad idea after all to eat the canned food left by the Franklin Expedition, …..
Michael (with axe) to Phil:
“What am I doing? I’m getting ready for when I leave Penn State for the State pen.”
I could sure use those 1000 carbon credits right now! I need to make a fire to warm my butt without making the ice melt any faster.
“This damn ice is not going to stop us from proving there’s no more ice up here! Damn this ice!”
Increasing workforce efficiency by four fold
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! All this hammering and now you tell me it has moved 40 Km since last year??????? What kind of North Pole Does that????
We’re looking for a “pole” right? Does it stick above the surface, or do I have to dig through the ice!
What the hell is Al Gore doing to that baby seal.
“Hey Joe, you with the camera, do you think they’ll notice this is a polystyrene mock up in a BBC studio?”
The photo was actually taken at the back of the Ithaca Ice-Works in Aberdeen Scotland. I worked there once.
“Sustainable jobs. EPA approved.”
“After we get it broken loose, we haul it to Los Angeles. With the drought they’re having, we can sell it to them for a fortune. They’ll melt it down and drink the water. “
“Ok already, I’ll cut, you choose. Once we split up, maybe the tired Polar Bears won’t get us both.”
“Right, Dr. Monnett, especially because they’re the ones ‘endangered’, not us!”
“Must be a private enterprise. There’s not nearly enough supervisors and inspectors and quality control and environmental experts and archaeologists standing around for this to be a public works project.”
I really don’t think that was a mosquito
Later that day, the crew chose a new Captain,… and a new order was given;… “South!”
“I’m sure this is where we left the bl…dy boat!”
“Little did the Arctic scientists realise they were doomed, as they cut the alien being from the ice…”
You young’ns get the twerp on the left. Mama will take the one on the right. On 3. One, two, three – GO!
Spread it out a bit they said – to stop 15% extent going below 2007. Wouldn’t hacking the satellite be easier?
A: “What do you call a big hole in the ice with a few greens in it?”
B: “A start?”
We don’t have any details about the accident yet, but it seems the Captain was lost, and
the cameraman received a broken arm.
mr. buzuki ! its worse than we thought
Only another 20,000,000 square miles of ice to go to make the deniers shut the f@@@ up!!
“Hey man, like I said, this much ice ain’t all bad!
At least we won’t have to crap in a bag on that damn canoe anymore!”
It was your turn to tie-up the boat, but nooo you couldn’t be bothered. So you are going to keep chopping until that dugout ice canoe is finished.
Keep digging, the North Pole is around here somewhere.
* Al Gore: “Darn you all! Must I do everything MYSELF?! I said NO ICE !!!”
* First photos smuggled in from punishment camp for the Skeptics in the Arctic.
I can see the magnetic North Pole under the ice – let’s dig it out. (Who said it moved? Well dig it out and bring it home.)
They’re either digging their own grave or digging one for AGW theory.
Maybe they were digging a channel to help the Alfred Wegener Institute’s Ice Breaker to reach the real Magnetic North Pole
Fore!
“I told you we wouldn’t make it,
I told you there would be ice,
we’re not even going to the real damn pole,
But you guys listen to me?
Noooooooo.”
Polarstern at the north pole ? ,owell it must be the other north pole so keep breaking the ice
Tiger Woods Makes Comeback in Canadian Open
“I’m sure that missing heat is around here somewhere!”
“Stock photo description
Some Rowers To The North Pole managed to get on one of the last ice floes floating in the Arctic sea. Due to global warming the natural environment of Rowers To The North Pole in the Arctic has changed a lot. The Arctic sea has much less ice than it had some years ago. (This images is a photoshop design. Rowers To The North Pole, ice floe, ocean and sky are real, they were just not together in the way they are now).”
Tee hee.
“Conform to the models, damn you, conform to the models!”
” ok put down the drink and help me find the boat!”
Searching for proof of drowned polar bears?
When I nod my head – hit it!
I’ve found it! What? Yeah – Sarah Palin’s bikini.
“Obama wants high speed rail to the north pole, Obama gets high speed rail to the north pole”.
Two seals walk into a club..
Well not as bad about the joke of several people trying to row to the Northpole, and lost their bearings.
Seriously, I read that its in the Hundred Acre Wood. You’re waiting your time digging here.
“Oh, I’ve been working on the railroad…”
“Help me…I’m melting!”
“You fool! That’s not an ice axe, that is a hockey stick!”
“Where’s the decline, I know it is here somewhere…”
“I swear, this is where I stashed the whiskey last time!”
“Damn, I thought Devil’s Island was supposed to be tropical.”
I’m sure they said Gadafi was in bunker somewhere around here!
KT (with hammer): I just KNOW that missing heat is hiding here somewhere!
Hands in pockets: Don’t you think you’re taking this all a tad too personally?
Pickaxe: I’ll give em bloody ice melt and global warming if it damn well kills me!
Where does it say to hang this skyhook?
“We know you’re down there Gaddafi”.
“When you said you wanted to break the ice…”
“Hey Bill, I think I see a polar bear swimming in the water over there!”
Damn, my old man told me the magnetic pole used to be just here in his day!
Having finding what was thought to be the intelligent life form on earth
…. the alien returned home.
How about Bernard Cribbins “There I was, diggin’ this hole …”
“Come on, dig faster, if we find the death spiral we win the internets and the climate debate.”
Ginger or Mary Ann?
Don’t just stand there, huge jaws are jumping through the ice.
================
WAIT!!!!! “Warranty void if seal is broken”
99 cubes of ice on the flow 99 cubes of ice chop one down spin it around 98 cubes of ice
Pickax guy: How could you forget Jock’s socks? That’s why we came out to this berg!
Assistant: No way was I gonna touch those skanky things! ‘sides, I think the EPA is watching.
I know Osama Bin Laden has to be here somewhere.
“Ohhh! C’mon! Hurry! I thought you only had to bury it when you’re camping! Anyway, who’s watching?”
Hey, well somebody had to say it. Well, ok, maybe not. Sorry. It was too late to back out posting this since I’d already clicked “Post Comment”.
%^P
But our science requirements say the sensor has to go down another 50 metres!
The North Pole must be somewhere around here. We left it in this spot in 1996.
“Planting the pole”
Unilateral Carbon Reduction
It’s kinda like being the guy on the right.
“Unable to locate a shop, this pair of plucky British rioters made do with a lump of ice.”
Iced Tea, anyone?
There must be a pony in there somewhere!!
“Inconvenient ice! Let’s sink it!”
‘The first rule of holes: When you’re in one stop digging.’
Bloke on left: Get sponsorship, you said. Paddle to the far north, you said. Prove the ice is melting, you said. I’ll show you this great pole dancing club, you said…
French Alps skiing holiday at Chamonix Mont-Blanc…….$8,300
Italian Riviera respite at Cinque Terre………………………. $12,500
Row to the Pole……………………………………………………….Priceless!
“NEVER *bam* EVER *bam* SUGGEST *bam* AN EXPEDITION *bam* LIKE THIS *bam* TO ME *bam* AGAIN! *bam*” …. “Oh haha! You won’t. Right, let’s get off this ice before someone captures this on film… wibble!”
Are you sure this is where Al want’s to be buried?
Man, making an ice kayak is harder than making an igloo.
Why? Because, the Tardis got frozen in there, and it’s our only way out of this mess!
Smokey, this article PROVES that Sunny is right!! http://www.marketwatch.com/story/a-no-growth-boom-will-follow-2012-global-crash-2011-08-23?pagenumber=1
[VBG]
Hurry! the Crack is freezing over and the Pole MUST have fallen into it !
“Keep chopping. The contract with our sponsor says we have to have the Arctic Ocean free of ice by Saturday for the foto-ops – or else!”
‘These damn seals get everywhere!’
Are you Sure this is where you dropped the tin-opener, Al?
Are you sure we have planning permission?
Artist rendering of neanderthal naval battle.
(submission #2, sorry…this is too much fun!)
Vandals destroy last remaining iceberg in the name of vanity while singing row, row, row your boat gently up the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream!
If we break it up small enough it will melt faster!
(okay….one more…#3)
Somali pirates expand reach.
I said whiskey with ice, you dumbkoof. Not ice with whiskey!
Yeh, I know! I did say I liked my whiskey chilled! Now I gotta try and find it !
“We have to get rid of the berg … or we will be assimilated”
I’m thinking of one of those motivational posters, with the tag:
Hubris
You know less than you think.
(Not my original phrase)
My vote goes to;
Mark Hladik says:
August 23, 2011 at 7:52 pm
“One lump, or two?”
2015 – As all IPCC computer models predicted, the equatorial ice is growing faster than we thought! NASA’s James Hansen warns that anthropogenic global warming may result in a return of ‘Snowball Earth’.
Kevin Cave says:
August 23, 2011 at 7:54 pm
“I’m sure the North Pole is in here somewhere…”
You get my vote Kevin!
“Keep digging. I’m sure the North Pole’s here somewhere – Joe Romm insisted it was easy to find”
And so the two intrepid explorers decided to go their separate ways…
The reason for Williams’ sacking by Tiger becomes clear: his course navigation just ain’t what it used to be. Calling the balls out of play would’ve saved a lot of bother.
ICEBREAKER REACHES NORTH POLE!
Drink some more Whisky and go with the Floe
“But the map said No-Ice Peninsula…”
Their compasses in disagreement, our two intrepid explorers decidided to go their separate ways..
*whack* Obviously * smack* completely *bam* rotten *wham* ice *whack*, don’t just stand there give me a hand, Burt! You promised we would be there by now.
“The BBC is paying for next year’s expedition. So I say we search for the magnetic pole in Bali!”
.
“Looks like you blew a seal…” Oh, wait. Different joke.
.
[Rational Debate, thanx for the scary screed by Mr. Neo-Malthus!]
Climate hacker caught in the act!
It would have been so much easier to get it from sainsburies.
“Stop digging, I think you’re right! It… it.. it is Jimmy Hoffa in there!”
Drilling Ice Cores. You’re doing it wrong.
Al Gore said there was only water here all I can find is ice . just keep looking
Gadaffi spotted at last!
“Despite the ravages of the environment they naturally call home, the baby ice through care and zeal, struggle year after year to survive for another season.
But this season they encounter a new and unspeakable menace. Seemingly headed for a place that no longer exists and never seen in these parts before, the savage threat happens by chance upon the huddled baby ice pod.
With a foreign scent about them, the invaders set upon the vulnerable victims with primitive implements. Too exhausted from the pounding of the sun to make an escape, the weakened baby ice can only look up, surrendering to their fate, as the icer’s axe sets ferociously sets upon them.
The water of life has been taken, and the baby ice are violently sent to that frozen Elysium where no man has ever ventured.”
H/T to jeez.
After spotting the first of what was expected to be the intelligent life form on earth,
… the aliens went home.
”But the ice is blue. It MUST have fallen off an airplane.”
Peer Review. Adds Credibility.
Jones: “Bury all our records Mann. Nobody can know the Masters of the Universes plans but us.”
Mann: “Hiding things is fun!”
Jones: “Bury all our records Mann. Nobody can know what we masters of the universe plan but us.”
Mann: “Hiding things is fun!”
“Gees, I luv watching you work, James”
“Thank you, Michael, feel free to help me with this, any time”
«If it doesn’t melt the soft way, it will break the hard way !»
Just make sure the lump sizes are right, we can get a fortune per pound from the idiots that think this is the last ice ever from the north pole.
southparkesqe..
I’m telling you man that this is narnia
Shut up Cartman
Just look Kyle, what other explanation could there be, it’s just like the film, snow and everthing, although I cant see the north lamp pole.
Cartman start digging or start walking
No way man, you got us into this mess
did not
It was you, dumbass, who had the compass upside down the whole time
Well maybe if I didn’t have to constantly stop your hampers and crap from falling out of the boat I could have concentrated better, I mean, who the heck plans a picnic for the northpole when there is supposed to be no ice there.
Yes but there is ice here, I knew there would be. Do you think the witch is comming soon.
GET DIGGING FATASS!
Kyle you have no sense of occasion, I’m going to set up the camera…
“OK Anthony, they’ve got the picture. That ought’a get our gullible readers excited…”
“But why can’t we just row round it…?”
“Don’t you worry Mr Gore – we’ll have you outta there in a jiffy”
‘I’m sure we can carve out this lump to make a boat’….
“Our biggest hazard while building our igloos was drowning while digging the basement.”
Jones: “Listen big block of ice. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me. It’s not that we’re so different you and I. It’s just that we’re natural enemies, like Mann and statistics.”
Mann: “Umm, I’m right here you know.”
First idiot:- “But you’re not supposed to put ice on a single malt, it spoils the flavour, use room temperature water”
Second idiot:- “But we only have cold salt water”
First idiot:- “Pass the ice”
The natural innocence of an Arctic melt rendered a gorgeous glacious icesheet, merrily adrift down the Bering Strait amidst the beautiful contours of deep oceanic blue. It was sudden, a climatologist appeared. They knew nobody would ever know of the horrific attack, they covered their tracks. Shards of ice flew in a flurry of furious blows. Whilst another climatologist just watched, then smirked.
September 15th 2050. We have finally found their boat. Their bodies look perfectly well preserved after 39 years trapped in the ice.
sea level rise drowns Swiss clock
Anthony, darn it, I’ve been trying to insert an Obama Stimulus road sign into the nearer lefthand ice flow… you know, the signs we wasted, er, spent millions of dollars on advertising the obvious roadwork to the very tax payers payin’ for both the roadwork and signs:
Putting America to Work
Project Funded by The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act
For an example see: https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B1yFYi-45R_dZGQzMWE1NzktYjQ0Ny00Nzg4LWE0ZjEtMGVjODA3ZjA5ZWY2&hl=en_US
I could do it in 2 secs if I had access to photoshop but don’t on this computer and for some reason the version I did on msword won’t display properly on google docs.
I know I parked the canoe over here last night
“Get to work, man. It’s got to be ice free by 2013.”
I told you we should have packed a blow torch…
Burry the ice-ax so we can skedaddle already!
Dont drink the blue ice!
That’s the last time I let Jeremy Clarkson pimp our ride…
p.s., for anyone who didn’t get “There must be a pony in there somewhere!” Well, there are different versions of this old joke that captures the spirit of optimism, and President Reagan liked to tell one version, but basically it goes along the lines of:
One day a mother takes her son to a psychiatrist to see what could be done about the boy’s extreme personality. It seemed that boy was too optimistic for his own good. So the psychiatrist led the boy into a room full of manure. The boy’s face lit up and he immediately began digging through the manure, happy as can be. Shocked, the psychiatrist asked what the boy was doing. The boy looked up from his digging and replied: “With all this manure, there must be a pony in there somewhere!”
Who said something about hell freezing over?
OT (really!) It looks like they might make it.
http://www.rowtothepole.com/latest-news/ says
We are on the very edge of success, but there is still a lot to overcome. What we have achieved is incredible, 450 miles of Arctic rowing over 25 days. Now at Thor Island we are once again playing the waiting game. As expected there is moderate ice cover around Dome Bay a mile off our landfall at Thor. North of this, Noice Peninsular is the last headland between us and the finish. There is a small ice lead a mile off Noice Peninsular. This fracture in the pack ice stretches for miles parallel to the coast. The difficulty is that ice leads are vulnerable to change rapidly with prevailing winds. We are now entering a period of strong easterly winds which should blow the ice away from the shore, allowing a two day dash forward to the Pole. If the ice does not move, then we might have to risk navigating the ice lead. Tonight we are to relay ice cover observations back to our ice expert, Kim. Hopefully by combining on-the-ground observations with the latest sat imagery we’ll get an accurate picture of ice movement and ultimately when best to make our move!
I think this comment at the “message the crew” page sums it up.
ColoradoWellington
How come there is so much ice there in the summer?
You can’t beat Kim for originality 🙂
Quick, get rid of the evidence!
” Do’nt break it,it is already Deicing by Conc: DEICERS, Airconditioning of Mother EARTH will delay ” ! ! ! !
It’s really coming along…I wasn’t sure at first…I think…..yeah I do…I like it!
Where did this ice come from? Quick, get rid of the evidence before the deniers find out.
CAGW belief is threating the extinction of Homo Sapiens Stupidus. Sadly, this pair of publicity seeking activists are now eligable for a “Darwin Award”
/ikh
“Don’t look now Dr. Monnett but they have us on TV cracking that bear’s skull……”
J.
-“You see how the ice bends there in the middle ? That’s becuase it’s rotten ice.”
YOU’RE the one that wanted the divorce, I’M just dividing up the community property!
Iced last night, and iced the night before
Going to be iced tonight if we never get iced anymore
When we’re iced, we’re stuck as we can be
Apparently the arctic will never be ice free.
“No, no we don’t need keyless entry, it’s a waste of money. Jacka@@.”
or
“Union labor laws finally take hold in the arctic.”
“Are you sure the environmental impact statement was approved by the EPA?
Look, my friends at Greenpeace taught me this. If I pretend to be killing a baby seal, someone will show up to film us and we will be rescued.
From despair.com:
In the battle beween you and the world, bet on the world.
A: “Digging holes for yourself is what climate science is all about.”
B: “But it was supposed to be ice free!?”
A: “No debate please, keep digging!”
lyrics:
“Someone’s in the Arctic with Michael,
Someone’s in the Arctic I know oh oh oh,
Someone’s in the Arctic with Michael,
Chipping at the old ice flow.”
Following the rowing triumph, we’re going to split the atom – like this.
Gosh – all the good lines are taken, but I was going to submit something similar to Ian Middleton:
“Science News Exclusive! NSIDC employees were discovered trying to artificially create an “Ice Free” north pole. A call inquiring about this incident to the NSIDC headquarters in Boulder, CO was not immediately returned. Federal Wildlife officials are investigating to see if any polar bears were harmed during this incident…”
” Two Scientists found altering ice data in an attempt to prove AGW”
Austerity: Instead of 3 union workers watching one union worker work, only 1 union worker now gets to watch another union worker work.
” Mr Serraze said he wanted all the big bits broken up or no more grants.so just don’t stand there”
Bloomin cold out here; Make mine a climate changer on the rocks please…
“Children just won’t know what snow is”, my arse.
A couple more with the pointy side and the Old Pulteney rep who talked us into this should sink.
It’s DEAD, Jim. Let it go. McCoy to Enterprise, two to beam up.
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho
Got to make your troubles go
Well, you keep on singing all day long
Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho !
‘I am saving on toilet paper ‘ Stop using toilet paper and save the environment!
(Can you believe this bimbo?)
refer Sunny TV 2 LOL ‘Doesn’t use toilet paper, yuck!’
Rowing to the pole warms you twice.
Once when you row
The second time when you have to get out of your boat and play icebreaker.
“But, Dr. Pachauri, I thought the Warming Models said we could just blow on it!”
“Huh, that was only to get us to our justly deserved lifestyle. Are you sure you even blew yours up?”
So THAT’S where Windex comes from!
“No Kill I”…
“… there’s gotta be some bad ice under here somewhere…”
Hey, I just got a text message on my Android from our Google Maps buddies. They have agreed to relocate the north pole just 10 feet from here. We’ll be home before this ice gets any thicker.
“Just sit right back, and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.”
“I’ve warned you what would happen if you sing that blasted song one more time . . .”
Oops
“I thought he said it was a shovel-ready job.”
“If you keep saying 263 K feels warmer than -10 °C, I swear I’ll hit you with this.”
PJB ‘YOU”RE the one who wanted the divorce….”
Dave Springer ‘It’s DEAD Jim, Let it go….’
So funny. I can’t choose between you and Kim. Always positions to take. Anthony will NOT find this easy.
“I can’t find the Pole, and it’s a travesty that I can’t”
“Agent Mulder? I’m Dana Scully. I’ve been assigned to work with you.”
President Obama plays yet another round of golf in an unseasonably cool Martha’s Vinyard.
SNL brings us Humans Simulating Polar BearBehavior.
John
“Okay, I get it Professor. But don’t you think this is an extreme way to demonstrate the concept of bouyancy?”
After breaking the ice on their first date, Brad discovers that Janet prefers whisky neat at room temperature.
After breaking the ice on their first date, Brad is frozen out by Janet.
After breaking the ice on their first date, Brad discovers that Janet hates camping.
“Jock, this is BS. Watts is gonna post this and laught at us!”
“Who can get us some publicity if not him, Billy? Shut up and dig.”
Hey, look! “A miracle just happened.”
News Flash, Climate Change funding melting away, fewer observers to be hired.
ManBearDig
James E. Hansen and Makiko Sato: “They’re called Ice Worms, they’re harmless Maki.”
No, I’m serious, 97% of “climate scientists” believe that a world wide increase of the global average temperature from 291.12 K to an increase to 291.82K is going to permanently melt all the snow caps, glaciers, and polar ice, and not just in the summer time, but also in the 6 month long sunless polar winters.
Great one Smokey; like Victoria Jackson (in SNL persona) on the Internet!
.
We might be here for fun, but we have to destroy it first!!!
freeze right where you are dude … I see a polar bear swimming towards us …
I found a place we can hide the medieval warm period!
“You are supposed to have melted by now!”
I guess we didn’t need to bring that boatload of ice for our whisky..
ARCTIC ICE FREE. If we keep on digging maybe we’ll find some ice here …
Increased Cooling Due To Global Warming, Combined With Increased CO2 Levels, Has Resulted In Large Amounts Of Free-Floating Dry-Ice In The Arctic.
East Anglia Scientists Hard At Work Investigating This Latest Threat To Polar Bears.
“Hey Fred are you sure Bam Bam was playing here”
“The map shows there is oil here, so shut-up and keep digging.”
Bob, I told you to pull the boat up onto shore last night. Are you sure it’s in here?
Left guy: “we have to hide the decline, break that ice faster!”
Right guy: “stupid scientists, why oh why didn’t they do their homework? and if they’re not going to admit their mistake, THEY should come up here and do this!”
“It’s really going to hurt when you stick that thing in your foot again.”
“Wait, wait… is that Jimmy Hoffa?”
Ice galore.
I’m taking my half and going back
OleBurt
“Shaken AND disturbed.” -Hansen, James Hansen
The left guy: “Al, stop it.”
No. No! It’s ROW to the pole, not HOE to the pole.
I told you, “Don’t use the two iron!”, but no, you had to go and use the two iron!
Woah slow down! what are you on ICE or something?
“After this one’s gone it’ll be smooth sailing I tell ya.”
“Do you mind? If we are lucky enough, this berg just might get us where we want to go!”
=8-)
“I swear I didn’t know we entered Russian waters!”
Man, I hate spiders. Good thing the wife’s here. “Go babe, whack that sucker!”
How hard can it be to find a place to take a dump???????
“Only 2 things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the first” Usually attributed to Einstein
The missing heat must be around here somewhere!!
I christen thee the Goretania…. Now quick open the champagne bottle, I’m freezing.
Their methods certainly are robust!
So global warming is a scam afterall
Our boat is in here somewhere!
Smokey says:
August 24, 2011 at 2:27 am
“Looks like you blew a seal…” Oh, wait. Different joke.”
And a very, very funny one at that!
Okay. Now we can tell them the temperature sensor was indeed broken, and they’ll have to use the two closest sensors to estimate from now on. That’ll easily get us an extra 2/10ths of a degree.
Climate Science – peer review in action
Trenbreth (with pick) “The fact is that we can’t account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can’t.”
Mann: “SHUT UP AND KEEP CHOPPING, IDIOT!”
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily our science is but a dream!
“You sure surfboards burn?”
“Shrinking sea ice extent: definately caused by human activity”
Out! Out! Damned berg.
We’ve got to kill all these bastard aliens. They’re going to eat us. I think one already ate the representitive of BEER. Gotta get him out!
“The last straw was when their Whack-A-Seal game stopped working.”
Venetian Gondoliers plying their trade during strong La Nina cycle.
klink klink klink D E e N n I i G g H h E e R r ‘ S Come out and play!
You would have to pick this route!
guy on the left: ‘Just dig a little deeper and we will be able to hide the decline!’
What we’ve got here is a failure to commelticate.
Ice Poachers.
Only a sassinak would want this musc ice in his scotch
Only a sassinak would want this much ice in his scotch.
Man with pick axe: ” ‘Let’s row to pole’ he says. ‘It’ll be easy and ice free’ he says. ‘Free whiskey and you’ll be famous.’ ”
Second guy: “Well, you will be famous.”
Man with pick axe: “Look over there, a polar bear!”
Second guy: “Where?!”
WHACK!!!
Say Pete, dis still ain’t malting.
This is only one-ninth of it… Al Gore gave up, but we won’t. Keep at it.
You’re taking me to literally when I said “burry me in ice and call me Al Gore if you can get the ET thing trough peer review.”
MUST HIDE THE ICE! MUST HIDE THE ICE!
“At long last, the CAGW people learn how to walk on water.”
“All this work, and it doesn’t look like we’ll even get the tee shirt”
“And we’re doing this, why?”
Dr. Mark Sereze (l), Director of the National Snow and Ice Data Center, watches as a research assistant puts the finishing touches on the newest AMSR-E data product Version 3 (V003) processing and algorithm data project. This version, set to be released shortly, is expected to indicate that the 2011 Arctic ice area continues to be in a death spiral, and is the lowest ever. However, as a result of the pinpoint alterations involved during complex process development as shown in the photo above, ice extent is likely to increase.
One for the Money..Two for Show..Three to get Ready..Four to Row?……Nope.
It’s worse than we thought. This is a prime example of Obama’s “shovel ready” jobs.
Miami’s here somewhere!
LMAO, good job, everyone!!
I’m Yukon Cornelius …
…yahoooooooo! A patchouli oil mine !
I think this is where I left the boat !!
Your eyes look like 2 piss holes in the snow.
I’m not hurting the instruments, they can take it.
Promontory Point, Utah, May 10, 2069 – Pictured here is the annual reenactment of the historic driving of the Golden Spike that symbolized the uniting of the county when the tracks of the Union Pacific and Central Pacific were joined for the first time. The original tracks are now submerged due to Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming melting the Arctic Polar ice cap.
Quick, the satellite is due in 15 minutes
Where the heck is all that damn Global Warming ???
Polar Ice – The Greatest Drink You’ve Never Had
Extra-strength ice axe: $65
High-visibility Arctic dry suit: $695
Getting caught on camera having to break your way through ice – that you said doesn’t exist – in your path on your mission to prove that human emissions of fossil fuels are causing rapid ice loss in the Arctic: PRICELESS!!!
take that…and THAT you STUPID ice berg, you shouldn’t be here!!
Next time we bring Serreze so we can show him what a “Death Spiral” really looks like.
“Potential effects of diminished sea ice on open-water swimming, mortality, and distribution of eco-activists during summer in the Alaskan Beaufort Sea.”
h/t
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/08/08/the-polar-bear-poster-that-launched-a-thousand-quips/
Only after finishing their second whiskey on the rocks did they discover how blue ice is formed. Hey, there’s a turd floating in my whiskey!
You’re sure that read “Ice free, not Ice freeze?”
“As soon as we finish here it’s back to the Maldives to check up on Morner’s frikken tree.”
If I smash the GPS, we can tell them we rowed to Norway!
Stop It! Each time you hit it it costs us .0025 carbon credits just from the Krebs Cycle alone!
‘I just don’t think this is Greenland!’
Hey Dodo, next time make it easier for us to locate the rotten ice by placing the “X” on top of the ice.
Melt, damn it, melt!
Digging the foundation of Al Gore’s new beachfront mansion.
uno2three4 says:
August 23, 2011 at 9:32 pm
“whatcha goin’ do with the drunken sailor . . . “
Nice try, but I’d like to rephrase it. As a scientific enterprise, the whole enterprise is looking more and more like dancing with the one-eyed sailor.
These damned ice traps! What am I lying? 3? I think I can clear the water from here. Can you make out the flag? That ice wall is blocking my view. Here goes!…
1. bbc video guy gets wise to the crews plans of burying him alive in 6 feet of ice.
2. Hey I have an idea! Lets go sink a ship, I hear Titanic 2 is about to sail.
3. I think I found OBL! We are rich!
4. Self fulfilling prophecy.
5. Uh Oh! There is a weird whale like creature staring at me!
6. AUGH! SPIDER. ME HATE SPIDERS! MUST DESTROY ICE TO KILL SPIDER!
The water hazards around here are a real bitch!
Dude! Just because they call diamonds “ice” doesn’t mean they are found in ice!
“Aha! I’ve found the last remaining fur-seal pup!”
“He told me to hide the decline.”
As a tie-in with the Siberia/Alaska railroad story… http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/08/24/i-can-drive-to-russia-from-my-house/
I’ve been workin on the Siberian railroad, all the live long day
“Are you sure this is where the RC Borehole is supposed to be?”
“Did those scientists say ‘ice free’… or was it ‘free ice’ ?”
“This is starting to feel like the Franklin Expedition. Where’s the Grand Piano?”
Michael Mann looks for somewhere obscure to hide his hockey stick.
First rule of icebergs: When you are standing on one, stop chopping.
Don’t forget the other one Smokey, ………….”piston broke”.
Left guy, “Stop hogging the pick, it’s my turn”
Right guy, “I’m going to find CAGW even if it kills me”
OK, I have some ice cubes now… Please go get the Eskimos…
“I don’t care if he WAS here first!”
“I don’t care if he WAS here first! Go hug a bear on your own iceberg.”
As to the progress of the fools, I read that their boat has runners built into the bottom to aid dragging it across ice. (Press release on unveiling of the boat.) I don’t have perspective as to how far they can go how fast that way, people have drug boats across polar ice. Apparently the “leader” Jock Wishart has walked to the Geomagnetic North Pole, which may be near Thule Greenland.
(According to Encarta 2005 the concept of “geomagnetic pole” is based on modeling the earth’s magnetic field as if it were symmetrical from one large bar magnet – seems wierd the result is so far from the magnetic pole location normally used – another “model” I suppose. The Encarta article also says the magnetic poles we normally refer to are shifted on a very short term basis by the interaction between the earth’s magnetic field and the solar wind, perhaps as much as 50 miles. (Leads me to desire inertial navigation even more, especially as GPS is vulnerable due vulnerability of satellites and interference.))
“Coachella Valley, here we come! Just remind me to turn left at Albuquerque.”
Looks like the Row to the Pole folks made it to the former MNP by pulling their boat accross ice. Given the radical difference of their actual route vs. the planned route due to ice blockage, I would say they disproved the ice free artic propaganda of recent years. Let us hope that the Row to the Pole folks finally put a nail into the coffin the the climate change fear mongering scamsters.
The guys that do it for real!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-2030142/Blisters-flu-frozen-jelly-beans-werent-defeat-disabled-servicemen-WALKING-WITH-THE-WOUNDED-BY-MARK-MCCRUM.html
Are we there yet?
Honey, can’t we please stop and ask for directions?!?!
Looking at the tracking page (http://www.rowtothepole.com/satellite-tracking/), it looks like they still pulling the boat over the ice. No open water close by.
Strangely enough, they go south-east and that means they go further into the bay. Why? Maybe the ice behind is closing in?
Or they trying to get to the land nearby as it is not a good idea to stay on the ice. Someone needs to rescue them.
One comment from them “The crossing took almost 10 hours as the crew dragged the 1.3 ton boat, arriving at the 1996 Magnetic North Pole at six thirty in the evening local time (0130 BST).” indicates that the had the boat on top of the ice when they reached the pole.
Guys! By tomorrow we will probably be below 5,000,000 km2 sea ice extent. Earlier this month that was what WUWT’s readers guessed the September minimum would be. We have passed your predictions from June and July already.
OMFG!! Save the children?? Why all the hullabaloo about sea ice anyway?
Wham, bham, thank you Mann (with apologies to David Bowie)
My Mommy told me to avoid the “yellow snow”, but she didn’t say anything about this blue stuff….
“I don’t care how ‘green’ this course is!”
“Where do these damned polar bears keep coming from?”
‘What did it ever do to you?”
“The more the whiskey, better you’re lookin’…
(cue the music….)
♩ ♪ ” i only have “ice” for you…”♫ ♬ ♭ ♮ ♯ !!!
(that would be called “one cold bare poler”)
Damned ice! I wish it was warmer up here so some would melt.
How much did you say these baby seal pelts would fetch?
…and they said it couldn’t be done…let’s just plant this flag here and swim our way back home.