Friday Funny: New drought trigger postulated for CSIRO to study

Who knew the reason for drought could be so simple? Forget complex modeling, Palmer indices, and rainfall projections, the reason for drought (at least in Australia) is dirt simple. Time is of the essence!

drought_trigger

h/t to WUWT reader Jimmy Haigh for this hilarious gem.

 

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55 thoughts on “Friday Funny: New drought trigger postulated for CSIRO to study

  1. The funny thing is that with all the silly CAGW hype these days it’s hard to tell if the author is serious, or just poking fun at alarmists

  2. If the governments in the Northern Hemisphere would move Spring to the beginning of February maybe our winters would warm up.

  3. “It is so logical”

    Reminds me of a old joke, slightly modified:

    An alarmist’s house catches on fire (presumably due to global warming), so he dials 911:

    911 dispatcher: Emergency services.
    Alarmist: Come quick, my house is on fire!
    911 dispatcher: Is there anyone still in the house?
    Alarmist: No, we all evacuated successfully.
    911 dispatcher: Good, I’ll send the fire department right away.
    Alarmist: Tell them to hurry!
    911 dispatcher: How do they get there?
    Alarmist: Duh, the big red truck.

  4. One of Mark Twain’s:

    “Consider Noah’s flood—I wish I knew the real reason for playing that cataclysm on the public: likely enough, somebody who liked dry weather wanted to take a walk. That is probably the whole thing—and nothing more to it.”

  5. The problem with well executed sarcasm is that it is difficult to pick up in the written word. I prefer to think that Chris Hill is quite the jokester. Well played, sir.

  6. And this guy probably votes for the candidate in his country that talks Green trash. And he probably participates in the polling on global warming/climate change/greenhouse gases/ methane alerts/etc. where intelligence on the real issues is not needed.

  7. Chris Hill . . . that deserves a beer. I’ll go get one now.

    I don’t know about a drought trigger but each year when daylight savings time kicks in the chickens start to lay more eggs. Like Zucchini, to get rid of them you have to sneak them into people’s cars or use other nefarious strategies. Another possibility is to have a backyard party the week before DST arrives and grill chicken.

  8. There were letters going around in the 1980s where the writers complained that Daylight Savings Time faded the curtains more rapidly.

  9. I suggest the following nomenclature to describe the current cult of cAGW alarmists:

    • For those cAGW “climate scientists” who are hitting the lottery with grant monies (the Priests):
    “Neo-Lysenkoites”
    * For those followers of the Gore cult (The Disciples):
    “Warm-earthers”

  10. Either Chris Hill’s “well-executed sarcasm” has earned my admiration…
    Or…
    He’s serious and obviously voted for Julia Gillard, in which case his brain has my condolences.

    I would suggest we take it a step further and go from “Daylight Savings Time” to simply “Day Savings Time”.

    With Day Savings Time we simply cut out the “day” and go directly from night to night. This would cut down on global heating due to that bright thing in the sky. This idea could save the planet – overnight!

    I think Congress will go for it. “It is so logical…” as Chris Hill would say. I’m surprised I didn’t think of this earlier. I gotta write to Harry…

    ————-
    To: The Horrible Honorable Harry Reid
    Subject: Simple Way To Save the Planet
    From: A Concerned Citizen

    Sir,
    I have devised an ingenious way to save taxpayers’ money, get you re-elected forever, and save the planet.
    Here’s the deal…

    ————–

  11. The solution is obvious, everybody in Australia must in lockstep with their neighbours steadily move their properties Southwards, including the roads etc. There’s plenty of room. OK, it’ll get a bit crowded in Melbourne and Adelaide, but I’m sure they’ll get used to it.

    In this way global warming won’t affect the people in the hotter parts of the country.

  12. If the governments in the Northern Hemisphere would move Spring to the beginning of February maybe our winters would warm up.
    ================
    better yet, Trudeau should promise Canadians to change the calendar so that Summer starts Jan 1 and ends Dec 31. This would end the current problems in Canada, where Winter starts Aug 1 and ends July 31.

  13. Time zones are another thing that needs to be eliminated. They made sense back in the day when travel and communication were limited, but we now live in a global economy and a 24/7 global world.

    One World, One Time Zone!

  14. Please please be satire. If not, remember, this person has a vote that counts the same as yours.

  15. Folks, this is really dangerous thinking. Daylight savings time has been built up to its present level over a period of many, many years. We can’t just stop all at once. Adding an hour every few years is no big deal, but if you take them all away at the same time, the oceans will be displaced by the full amount of the aggregate change all at the same time. This would in turn cause a high tide that would make the the biggest tsunami in history look like a ripple on a pond.

    People, please. Leave your clocks alone.

  16. Somebody needs yo contact the paper who printed it and get their take on it, did the paper print as a joke , April fools day or the paper is just plain stupid.

  17. I would have advised him to ask for a grant from the former Gilliard government for a 5 year test, but not likely now. Farmers complained about DST because cows don’t adjust their internal clocks to accommodate.

  18. I think this Chris Hill from Albury is onto something, but instead of just setting it back to a normal (natural) day, I think we need to take it a step further. Make the day shorter and the night even longer to combat the warming that has occurred over the last 150 years.

    You could call it: Nighttime Saving Time or Daytime Cooling Time. Problem solved. Where’s my grant?

  19. I heard a tape of a radio call-in show where a caller complained about where the town placed “deer crossing” signs. She wanted the town to move the signs to safer places for the deer to cross.

    The hosts took some time to verify she was serious, made a little attempt to explain that the signs were placed where deer cross the roads, and tried to ease her off the call. They were fairly successful at not laughing at her.

  20. Reg Nelson says:
    May 30, 2014 at 9:20 am

    Time zones are another thing that needs to be eliminated. They made sense back in the day when travel and communication were limited, but we now live in a global economy and a 24/7 global world.

    One World, One Time Zone!

    Works for China …

  21. Reg Nelson says:
    May 30, 2014 at 10:05 am

    I think this Chris Hill from Albury is onto something, but instead of just setting it back to a normal (natural) day, I think we need to take it a step further. Make the day shorter and the night even longer to combat the warming that has occurred over the last 150 years.

    You could call it: Nighttime Saving Time or Daytime Cooling Time. Problem solved. Where’s my grant?

    You know, if you put on a funny hat and worked this idea into a YouTube talk with a whiteboard marker, I bet you’d garner a considerable following.

  22. The Snopes page is great. Best line (may require American nighttime commercial watching, or Johnny Carson’s references):

    … three movie reviews by Philip Martin on the same page. Martin has made himself the Ginsu knife of the world of letters (but wait, there’s more), albeit without the cutting edge.

  23. Why not?

    It is as valid a hypothesis as other ‘root causal’ proposals for Natural Holocene Interglacial Warming Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming.

    No computer models were created, no data sets were ‘adjusted’, and no taxpayer dollars were wasted. Yes – the statistical analysis is a little ‘shakey’ but, in the end, the same certain level of validity was achieved.

    In the ‘certain science’ of CAGW, it doesn’t get any better than this, Folks!

  24. philjourdan says:
    May 30, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Phil, by wise old Native American, do you mean Senator Elizabeth Warren from Massachusetts? AKA “Fauxcahontas”?

  25. fyi

    I have analysed the rainfall figures for Potchefstroom, South Africa.
    Setting the (total) yearly rainfall in mm out against time, I get that from 1927 – 2014 the linear trend line is nearly flat. I would expect this to happen, as the period 1927 until 2016 is in fact one complete Wolf-Gleissberg cycle.

    http://blogs.24.com/henryp/2012/10/02/best-sine-wave-fit-for-the-drop-in-global-maximum-temperatures/

    To check the pattern of rainfall, I divided 1927-2014 into 4 segments, as apparent from the 4 Hale cycles that make up one Gleissberg cycle and worked out the yearly average for each of these periodes.

    1927-1950 611.7
    1951-1971 587
    1972-1995 596.1
    1996-2013 641.2
    .
    Setting these periods out against rainfall, you will find a binomial with the following co-ordinates:
    17.45×2 – 77.49x + 671.85 (mm)
    correlation r2 = 0.9999

    Again, the rainfall pattern is exactly as predicted by me, namely in a warming period you will get less rainfall at the <[30] latitudes. (Potchefstroom lies at ca. 25)

    One is always tempted to see what happens when we forecast and back cast on such an equation, and, doing just that, one would be inclined to think that average yearly rainfall in 1904-1926 and from 2016-2039 will be around 680-700 mm. However, from my own data and from the data on field strengths we get from the sun, we realize that this cannot be done like this. In fact, we know that 1927 and 2016 are dead end stops. That means that if we want to back-cast the rainfall for the period 1904-1927 – and forecast what 2016- 2039 – looks like ,
    it would form a mirror, going down, instead of up, -
    i.e. namely,
    1904-1927 ca. 587
    2016-2038 ca. 596

    The interesting point is that there is nothing chaotic and unpredictable about the weather in Potchefstroom. It works just like a clock.

  26. I guess this is about the best argument I have seen in a while for “man-made global warming”.

    ;>P

    So can we here in Michigan have Daylight Savings during the Winter then too?
    ;>P
    ;>P

  27. The interesting thing is that the BOM do acknowledge discontinuities occurred in the temperature record when Daylight Saving was adopted due to observations being made relatively one hour earlier, so the satire has a slight link to reality.
    One of the best daylight saving jokes that came out (many years ago):
    Q. Why does Joh Bjelke-Petersen (famous conservative Queensland Premier) hate daylight saving?
    A. Because he thinks the sun shines out of his a**** and he’s not getting up an hour earlier for anyone.

  28. What is really sad is that some climate scientists may be thinking that this should be sent out as a media report saying that it is yet another man-made cause of global warming. Or worse, GET a grant from the government to study it!!!!!

  29. Been to Albury
    Hot and dry in summer.

    Dry is drought.

    DST is in Summer.

    DST brings drought.

    Logical!

    QED

  30. Hey, when you don’t get out of bed until noon it’s easy to get confused about what time the sun comes up.

  31. @RoHa. Trenberth uses Startrek’s transporter to mysteriously get it into the deep Ocean.

  32. sadly..I reckon he was serious..they read it out on abc bush tele and did manage not to crack up.
    just.
    I also thought of the deer crossing one
    so glad someone posted the youtube:-)

  33. And daylight saving increases maintenance costs.
    That extra hour of sunlight in the hot afternoons causes curtains to fade much faster than they would otherwise so they have to be replaced sooner.

    That’s why Western Australia voted against it.
    We want to preserve our curtains.

  34. I recall the best joke about daylight saving was the one about the guy who woke up every morning with an erection. With daylight saving he didn’t get it until he got to the bus stop.

  35. It’s an old Australian joke that daylight savings is a bad thing because it fades the curtains. Usually directed at Queenslanders or West Australians who (sensibly) do not observe daylight saving like the southern states. This is pure ironic satire.

    • “The interesting thing is that the BOM do acknowledge discontinuities occurred in the temperature record when Daylight Saving was adopted due to observations being made relatively one hour earlier, so the satire has a slight link to reality.” True, and for many years the max temp reported for many locations on the nightly news was wrong, because it was read at 2pm local (3pm DST), It’s read again, and reset, at 9am the next day but too late for the TV bulletins. Not so much of an issue these days as the TV stations have access to near-instantaneous updates, rather than sending a courier for a paper copy. One of this country’s more bizarre procedures is to enter the 9am maximum as the maximum for the previous day, so if that day was mild, and the following one hot, the mildness of the previous day is wiped from the record. Obviously, this doesn’t happen every day, usually the max is the same for much of the year.

  36. I should point out that the 9am maximum read the following day is usually correct for the previous day, especially in DST where the max might be at 5 to 6pm. The practice comes about from having “amateur” weather readers who may only perform 9am and 3pm observations daily. There ARE days however where the max temp is simply wrong, and at stations where there are electronic instruments, this would be known (and maxima are read at midnight at these stations). The 9am max still overrides the previous maximum though.

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