Climategate turbulence

Russ Steele writes: President Obama will soon be on his his way to Copenhagen and his Bagdad Bob moment in Air Force One.  Climategate is sure to create some turbulence.

83front

From  The Chilling Effect

Got any political cartoons on Climategate? Post links to them below.

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79 Responses to Climategate turbulence

  1. igloowhite says:

    Let me be clear about this warming debate. There will be no debate while I’m President. As you all know I care about your health and I am sure that I will be able to help with that only in a cooler atmosphere, which will also better enable resistribution of your tax money to my over heated ACORN base.

    Yours true,

    President Obowma

  2. Height of ironies that the meeting is in Copenhagen, when we are concerned that “something is rotten in the state of Denmark” (Hamlet) and have seen through the Emperor’s New Clothes (Hans Andersen, surely Denmark’s most famous citizen). To say nothing of the Battle of Copenhagen, where Nelson put his blind eye to the telescope in order to disobey official orders and win the battle.

  3. MarcH says:

    Climate dementors…

    As the Copenhagen Climate conference approaches Climate Alarmists are in a frenzy to try and convince world leaders to implement radical action to drastically reduce the CO2 emissions they believe solely responsible for our Modern Warm Period.

    This frenzied response has spawned a new type of Climate Alarmist: the Climate Dementor….

    more at

    http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/stories/s2747744.htm

  4. MarcH says:

    Not sure if this passes as satire , but if made me laugh…

    > >—–Original Message—–
    > >From: Phil Jones [[6]mailto:p.jones@xxxxxxxxx.xxx]
    > >Sent: 05 January 2009 16:18
    > >To: Johns, Tim; Folland, Chris
    > >Cc: Smith, Doug; Johns, Tim
    > >Subject: Re: FW: Temperatures in 2009
    > >
    > >
    > > Tim, Chris,
    > > I hope you’re not right about the lack of warming lasting
    > > till about 2020. I’d rather hoped to see the earlier Met Office
    > > press release with Doug’s paper that said something like –
    > > half the years to 2014 would exceed the warmest year currently on
    > > record, 1998!
    > > Still a way to go before 2014.
    > >
    > > I seem to be getting an email a week from skeptics saying
    > > where’s the warming gone. I know the warming is on the decadal
    > > scale, but it would be nice to wear their smug grins away.
    > >
    > > Chris – I presume the Met Office continually monitor the weather
    > > forecasts.
    > > Maybe because I’m in my 50s, but the
    > language used in the forecasts seems
    > > a bit over the top re the cold. Where I’ve been for the last 20
    > > days (in Norfolk)
    > > it doesn’t seem to have been as cold as the forecasts.
    > >
    > > I’ve just submitted a paper on the UHI for London – it is 1.6
    > > deg C for the LWC.
    > > It comes out to 2.6 deg C for night-time minimums. The BBC forecasts has
    > > the countryside 5-6 deg C cooler than city centres on recent nights.
    > > The paper
    > > shows the UHI hasn’t got any worse since 1901 (based on St James Park
    > > and Rothamsted).
    > >
    > > Cheers
    > > Phil

  5. SSam says:

    Dunno how long they will be there.

    http://i50.tinypic.com/2h535uv.gif

    http://i49.tinypic.com/2zyy79e.jpg

    Found off of Pookies Toons.

  6. vg says:

    Global warming is being dramatically cooled down over the USA LOL
    http://wxmaps.org/pix/temp1.html

  7. pat says:

    And let us not forget New Zealand’s climate data manipulation. The sorry excuse od NIWA that temperatures must be adjusted for a thermometer move over a hundred years before, instead of altering the few years before the thermometer’s present position, is one of the most bizarre explanations in the annals of weather science.

  8. Zeke the Sneak says:

    Allie is funny.

    http://townhall.com/cartoons/cartoonist/EricAllie/2009/11/3

    He has a few of them. :-)

  9. marchesarosa says:

    Concerning the virtual absence of BBC news on the CRU affair I saw it described somewhere as BBC PALEO-NEWS.

    (Hope it wasn’t here on WUWT!)

  10. Mariss Freimanis says:

    Kind of interesting there’s an aircraft in the cartoon. The trend seems to be “There may be a few bad apples at CRU but it doesn’t affect vast majority of the science behind AWG. Trust me, it’s really nothing.” I have been replying in this manner:

    The science is NOT sound after this past week’s revelations.

    Let’s say it had been: “Last week it was revealed fraudulent engineering practices were employed in the design of all Airbuses since 1996. Though the senior engineers who engaged in the fraud have been found out, they did work on all engineering aspects of the aircraft. We conclude the vast majority of the engineering is sound so we pronounce these aircraft as being airworthy. With that, our opinion is it’s unnecessary to investigate if their work involved lavatory toilet seat design or wing structure design.”

    Would you fly on that airplane?

  11. Mariss Freimanis says:

    The science is NOT sound after this past week’s revelations as many claim.

    Let’s say it had been: “Last week it was revealed fraudulent engineering practices were employed in the design of all Airbuses since 1996. Though the senior engineers who engaged in the fraud have been found out, they did work on all engineering aspects of the aircraft. We conclude the vast majority of the engineering is sound so we pronounce these aircraft as being airworthy. With that, our opinion is it’s unnecessary to investigate if their work involved lavatory toilet seat design or wing structure design.”

    Would you fly on that airplane?

  12. R Dunn says:

    From Lisa Benson – “So, did Al Gore invent climate change?”

    http://www.cartoonistgroup.com/store/add.php?iid=41340

  13. P Wilson says:

    MarcH (18:15:11) :

    Phil Jones says:

    “I hope you’re not right about the lack of warming lasting
    > till about 2020. I’d rather hoped to see the earlier Met Office
    > press release with Doug’s paper that said something like –
    > half the years to 2014 would exceed the warmest year currently on
    >> record, 1998!”

    i thought Phil Jones was against global warming?

  14. David Walton says:

    Obama isn’t the only one who experiences turbulence.

    Debbie Stabenow –

    “Climate change is very real. Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I’m flying. The storms are more volatile. We are paying the price in more hurricanes and tornadoes.”

  15. P Wilson says:

    R Dunn (18:36:56)

    http://media.photobucket.com/image/al%20gore%20global%20warming%20cartoon%20airplane/airborne373/al-gore-plane-1.gif

    if only he knew what a carbon footprint was! alright for him, but not for us

  16. David L. Hagen says:

    Climate policy just brought down Australia’s Liberal Party (“conservative”) pro climate regulation leader Turnbull, possibly putting Australia’s climate policy and/or the Liberal Party into jeopardy.

    Australia’s Opposition Switches Leader

    CANBERRA — Australia’s main opposition Liberal Party elected Tony Abbott as its leader in a move that will likely see a government plan to cap the country’s greenhouse-gas emissions either defeated or deferred by the Senate, potentially triggering an early election. . . .
    Mr. Abbott said Monday that if he become leader he would seek to refer the climate bill to a Senate committee, delaying its passage until at least February, when Parliament resumes after a long summer recess.

    That would be a serious setback for Mr. Rudd, who was in Washington on Monday to meet with President Barack Obama and earlier appeared to have the votes locked up to secure the program’s approval.

    Australian opposition change jolts climate debate (AFP)

    Turnbull had sparked a party revolt by supporting the government’s carbon legislation, and warned that the centre-right Liberals faced electoral disaster if an early election were called.

    “I think climate change is real,” Abbot said, brushing off earlier comments that global warming was a “load of crap” as “a bit of hyperbole”, and drawing sarcastic laughs from journalists.

    “I think man does make a contribution. There’s an argument as to how great that contribution is, and second what should be done about it.

    Australia’s Climate Policy Roger Pielke, Jr.

    I’ve been waiting a few months to finish up an analysis of the implications of the proposed Australian ETS for the decarbonization of Australia’s economy (along the lines of my UK and Japan case studies) so I can that submit it for publication. The analysis is pretty much done, but it would be nice to have at least some stability in the politics before putting it out. It is as if the Australian government has no concern about the needs of my academic publication schedule. . . Anyone wanting a draft copy can email me at pielke@colorado.edu.

  17. Richard says:

    Lucy Skywalker (18:04:58) :

    Height of ironies that the meeting is in Copenhagen, when we are concerned that “something is rotten in the state of Denmark” (Hamlet) and have seen through the Emperor’s New Clothes (Hans Andersen, surely Denmark’s most famous citizen). To say nothing of the Battle of Copenhagen, where Nelson put his blind eye to the telescope in order to disobey official orders and win the battle.

    And maybe the Ugly Duckling (Hans Christian Andersen) – CO2 – who is actually a beautiful swan.

  18. yonason says:

    What’s that old joke?

    Guard – “The lunatics are at the gate”

    Captain of the Guard – “Quick, open the gate and let them out!”

  19. yonason says:

    Richard (18:49:27)

    And don’t forget how this will devastate the World economy, which amounts to “killing the goose that laid the golden eggs.”

  20. David L. Hagen says:

    Mike Adams addresses The State of the Revolution on university campuses. Will debate on catastrophic anthropogenic global warming be allowed next?

  21. R says:

    I made a drawing of Pinnocchio. I thought I would make a great logo for Climategate. How can I send it to you?

  22. Ray says:

    Just in case it did not go through… this is my prefered one:

    http://www.classicalvalues.com/Mann_explains_treemometer.jpg

  23. R. Craigen says:

    I don’t know if this is exactly what you want, but it’s my favourite Earth Day poster

  24. Ron de Haan says:

    ClimateGate hearing headed for Capitol Hill:
    http://thehill.com//blogs/e2-wire/677-e2-wire/69795-climate-email-controversy-headed-for-capitol-hill-airing

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/69417-obama-to-go-to-copenhagen-for-climate-summit

    President Barack Obama unveiled a provisional target number for lowering U.S. greenhouse gas emissions that the U.S. will present at next month’s international climate change summit in Copenhagen.

    The White House said Obama would offer a provisional U.S. emissions cut of 17 percent below 2005 levels by 2020.

    Time to call your Senator again and tell them that the science is corrupt and no Copenhagen decision is acceptable.
    Also tell them if they don’t stop this farce, we will stop them at the next elections.

  25. slolman says:

    I am glad that they are forcing the data to come out. Next up is getting all the oil companies to release their data.

  26. Ron de Haan says:

    Have a look how a corrupt process looks like:
    http://www.ipcc.ch/publications_and_data/publications_and_data.htm

    Meet the IPCC:
    http://www.ipcc.ch/organization/organization_bureau.htm

    Their technical task force
    http://www.ipcc.ch/organization/organization_secretariat.htm#2

    Ever heard of DDC?
    It’s the Data Distribution Center and they want you to rate their page?????
    http://www.ipcc-data.org/

  27. Smokey says:

    slolman (19:25:32),

    The difference is that the CRU is publicly funded, so the taxpayers own the data.

    But those evil oil companies [that sell you what you crave -- but they don't make you buy] are not taxpayer funded. Their information is proprietary.

    But if you still believe the big bad oil companies are making a killing, then go and buy as many shares as you can afford. Then you will get your share of the loot, too. Win-win.

  28. Carlo says:

    Peer Review 1945

    [ok, that was funny, but due to numerous complaints I've been embargoing the Hitler parodies. Also...contains profanity ~ ctm ]

  29. Ian says:

    Anyone know what to make of this (from Warwick Hughes site)

    (apologies if it’s off topic)

    CRU quietly revising 8 months of 2009 global temperature data
    November 29th, 2009 by Warwick Hughes
    njcons has just told me CRU have just “deleted” – removed 8 months of their CRUT3 monthly anomalies for 2009. Unannounced that I have seen. I checked at about 6am Canberra time on 30 Nov.
    Sure enough downloading the CRUTEM3 Global mean I see only Jan and Feb for 2009;
    2009 0.561 0.713 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.000 0.637
    2009 27 26 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
    HadCRUT3 is the same, 8 months edited out – as is HadSST2 – so the issue is through land and sea data.
    However, nobody has told the Hadley Centre…..

  30. Galileo says:

    The situation in Australia is this:

    The PM wanted to go to Copenhagen with the Parliament having passed a cap and tax scheme (referred to as ETS, for emissions trading scheme). It has been passed by the lower house but the government lacks the numbers in the Senate.

    The previous leader of the opposition (Turnbull), a pompous elitist, supported the ETS and committed to the government to approve it in the Senate. A number of members of the opposition challenged this but Turnbull insisted he was leader and they would pass the ETS. Several members of his front bench resigned. This was followed by an enormous outcry within the electorate, swamping their members with complaints, whereupon more front benchers resigned and a leadership ballot called.

    The new leader (Abbott), is a tough, very experienced, principled politician. He was one who resigned from Turnbull’s frontbench. Unlike Turnbull he is a man of the people, but also politically skilled. (Turnbull is not politically skilled, he is a lawyer who made a lot of money in business and thinks leadership is telling everyone else what to do, even when they are adamantly opposed. He is incapable of building coalitions, Abbott is not.)

    After Abbott was elected, he called for a secret ballot (very rare in the party room) on opposing the ETS. The decision to oppose was passed 55/29. The party’s coalition partners (the Nationals) are even more strongly opposed. So strong opposition to the ETS at this time is not just Abbott’s policy, it is that of the whole opposition.

    Rudd, the PM, now goes to Copenhagen without his trophy ETS.

    Abbott has made it very clear he is opposed to the ETS as an enormous tax scheme with no material benefit to Australia, and that his job is to look after Australians. There has to be an election in 2010. The ETS position is the major difference between the two sides of politics in Australia, so expect the Liberals (ie conservatives, not US “liberals”) to really ramp up the attack on the ETS and what it will do to Australia. That has not happened to date because Turnbull was backing the ETS.

    Don’t expect politicians like Abbott to grab onto Climategate at this stage. They are professional politicians. They will not touch it until they are sure it will not blow up in their faces. But once they are sure, expect them to use it hard to further their position, in this case winning government by sticking the current government with its proposed huge tax scheme based on a fraud.

  31. Marilena says:

    slolman,
    Do you mean the huge oil companies like BP and Shell who fund the alarmists?

  32. Carlo says:

    Sorry

    Reply: No problem. That was a funny one. Most aren’t that well written. ~ ctm

  33. Noelene says:

    Don’t you just love huge oil companies like BP and Shell?All the employment they provide,all the energy they provide,the means to drive my car,particularly necessary if a medical emergency pops up.Where would the western world be without them.

  34. Spenc BC says:

    Galileo

    It is my sense that the events in Australia auger well for sober second thought on Climate legislation elsewhere in the world, especially here in Canada. We have a Conservative minority government who likewise will not touch Climategate till they are sure but I think they will find solace in this bold move down under. Here’s hoping this is the beginning of more serious consideration the world over, all thanks to Australia. Good on ya mate!

  35. Roger Knights says:

    “Dr Phil Jones says this has been the worst week of his professional career.”

    So far.

  36. Roger Carr says:

    When cartoons come,
    can truth be far behind?

  37. Sunfighter says:

    Sorry, I dont see how this is getting bumpy or anything. Other then Fox news and a few newspaper articles, and some rumblings from the scientific community, the REAL powerbrokers are continuing to plow full steam ahead like nothing has happened. The BBC continues to have their global warming is coming story once a day as usual, and everything continues to plow along….

    honestly i dont think it can be stopped at this point. Its depressing. It seems in a lot of things the truth doesnt really matter past a certain point.

  38. Roger Knights says:

    Here’s a link to a photo of the famous Greek statue of Perseus holding up the head of Medusa, with her dead body at his feet. (Caution–nudity.) It’s obviously premature to be celebrating, but I scent victory on the turn of the tide, and I feel as though the monster has been given a mortal stroke.

  39. Richard says:

    Galileo (19:48:03) : – Maybe Rudd should be told that flying to Copenhagen is bad for his (and Aussies) carbon footprint. If he has to go he should sail across.

  40. doug says:

    I have been searching for an old Doonesbury. Nixon didn’t want to release his tapes during the Watergate scandal, claiming they could be misinterpreted out of context.

    Doonesbury’s example: “So, How’s the cover-up going, John?”

    Yes, out of context, that could be misinterpreted!

    Gavin needs to see it.

  41. Michael says:

    Time to have some fun.

    Baghdad Bob

  42. Michael says:

    Iraqi Information Minister
    Mohammed Saïd al-Sahaf

  43. wobble says:

    I wonder if anyone has even warned Obama about this.

  44. wobble says:

    I wonder if anyone has even warned Obama about this potential minefield he might be walking into.

  45. debreuil says:

    I think I’ve found proof that the unadjusted data still produces a hockey stick:

    http://debreuil.com/temp/hockeyStick.jpg

  46. Reed Coray says:

    Galileo (19:48:03) :

    AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!

    I hope I spelled that correctly.

  47. Cassandra King says:

    The BBC in the UK, a world media platform is strangely silent on the Australian political revolt against carbon trading(CTS).
    An uneasy silence descends over the BBC and noticeable blank spaces are starting to appear in the BBC coverage of events that contradict the AAM political narrative, if it damages the narrative it does not exist on planet beeboid.
    The fabricated consensus is failing, the Copenhagen summit/festival of lies is being peddled by the BBC as if the future of the BBC depended on it, they are pulling out all the stops, overriding any supposed boundaries on reporting and peddling the summit with the determination of the fanatic.
    Watch the BBC coverage and witness the degradation of the old MSM, watch and witness the crumbling of a false and fabricated narrative, they look like and sound like a Warsaw pact news agency just prior to the iron curtain collapse. They fully deserve their fate.

  48. Ceres says:

    Despite Tony Abbott saying the ETS is CRAP (when asked today he said that his words were hyperbole) it seems he will be approaching the controversy in terms of a NEW TAX. That will get through to the uninformed public in Australia – 81% of whom say they don’t know enough.

  49. Galileo says:

    @Ceres (22:59:31)
    Careful what you read into a set of careful statements at a press conference when he had just been confirmed as leader.

    His party has just made a 180 degree change of direction on the ETS, having junked the previous leader. Abbott was very clear to the press conference that the party had decided to oppose the ETS. The journalists at the conference, who are mainly believers and want to embarrass the opposition, were mostly asking questions intended to put him on the spot and to brand him a “denier”, which he avoided.

    Since the party has just changed direction through this leadership decision, it obviously has not had time to research and develop a well articulated set of new policies. So, within that constraint, he was very careful in what he said.

    Asked if he believes in global warming, he said “yes, but it is unclear how much is due to mankind”. Queried on his previous statement that “global warming is crap” (not “the ETS is CRAP” as Ceres suggested – the Liberal Party now agrees the ETS is CRAP), he said that was hyperbole. But hyperbole is always built on a core of truth, so he defused a question he did not want to answer at the time, without denying the underlying point and without boxing himself in for the future.

    He is an able politician. He said a number of times that the government was going to have a fight at the next election (2010). He is not going to attempt to win an election by competing with the government over whose version of tax should be imposed. That is a guaranteed way to lose. (The new tax idea was raised at the conference by one of the journalists, not by Abbott.)

    For the moment the Liberal Party is focused on the job of rejecting the ETS. When it comes to an election they would lose all credibility if they do not continue that logic, unless there was overwhelming and publicly convincing arguments for it. And we all know (warmists excluded) there is not.

    Incidentally, when the Liberals were in government, Turnbull (the leader just junked) was Environment Minister. He introduced a law outlawing incandescent light bulbs in favour of the much more expensive, less illuminating bulbs. That law is just starting to bite now and the public will really feel it next (election) year. It would have been a political inconvenience for the Liberal Party to have the architect of that dud decision as leader at the time. Now he is gone and Labor can wear the opprobrium when the public starts screaming.

  50. Andrew says:

    Anthropogenic Global Warming Virus Alert.

    http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i64103

  51. KeithGuy says:

    Try this link! I created it to illustrate the stubborn refusal of the AGW movement to think that they could be wrong!

    http://www.tinysites.com/SitesPublic/AllSites/0/03/36/29/guyk937182/PublishPC/~Index.xml/Photos/Pix1.htm?r=6215667

  52. matt v. says:

    Will Copenhagen Conference lead or be a tragic and expensive mistake for world leaders?

    This is a strange times that we live in today. Most of the world leaders are about to gather in Copenhagen next week to agree on a plan to reduce the emission of carbon dioxide with the hope of avoiding further global warming and fight climate change . The total world expenditures will be well into the trillions of dollars through more taxation, higher energy costs and redistribution of wealth.

    Yet there has been no unusual global warming for at least a decade and the small amount of warming that there was, has now been accounted for by the natural planetary cycle called ENSO or El Nino. All natural cycles like AMO, PDO, NAO and lunisolar tidal forces are pointing to a near term future of 20-30 years of cooler weather rather than unprecedented warming. The globe has been naturally warming since 1600 and periods of warming and cooling like today have existed many times before. The earth also follows a longer term1500 year climate cycle and we just happen to be in the warmer phase since 1600.

    Recently released e-mails from the CRU climategate show the IPCC scientists saying that, “we can’t account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can’t”. Their science has turned out to be flawed. The global temperatures have been declining while the CO2 was rising, completely opposite of what their science said.

    So we have our current world that cannot find adequate money to fight world wide unemployment, poverty, disease, provide better health care and shelter for its poor, elderly and disenfranchised, yet it is willing to commit trillions of borrowed and tax dollars to solve a problem that may not even exist as currently defined, supported by questionable science and with a climate which at the very least, our best climate scientists claim they do not even understand.

    Any prudent or rational steward or national leader who values his current elected office would say , this serious climate problem that we were told was imminent and catastrophic, no longer seems valid and the science is also far from settled or completely understood , you climate scientists better go back and study this better. Meanwhile we have other global and regional priorities that need the limited funds much more at this moment. This is what Copenhagen leaders should do but time will tell if there are any real leaders among this group. Perhaps Australia may have the first one.

  53. John Galt says:

    The data is fake but the science is solid.

  54. Jeremy says:

    This one’s great! I hope people are still checking this thread…

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_R6dL-3ZN9rI/Sw-SxGAbZRI/AAAAAAAAAAM/1EyrzVtC1uw/s1600/Slide1.GIF

  55. Gail Combs says:

    Chuck (18:11:50) :

    i like this one from twawki’s web site

    http://twawki.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/theoclimate-science1.png

    Anthony can we get this one made up as tee shirt? It is SOooo appropriate.

  56. Gail Combs says:

    Ever heard of DDC?
    It’s the Data Distribution Center and they want you to rate their page?????
    http://www.ipcc-data.org/

    I rated them very poor and got an error message. I guess that is one way to fudge the data…

  57. Joe says:

    My favorite line of the day (not cartoon) was from a member of a forum I frequent:

    In response to a Warmer’s dismissal of the emails as “cherry picked”:

    “Funny though how you criticize the whistle-blowers for not giving out “all their raw data” but not the climate scammers…

    Hey , maybe they got lost in the 80s, or in a move , or just to save storage space. These “value added ” e-mails is what we got.”

  58. Gail Combs says:

    Cassandra King (22:40:54) :

    The BBC in the UK, a world media platform is strangely silent on the Australian political revolt against carbon trading(CTS)…..

    If the BBC is publicly funded and the public raises enough dust, can you get it closed down or at least do a major house cleaning?? – FIRE their donkeys!

  59. Eowyn says:

    There are some great Climategate satire posters by Bob Keyser on the Conservative Endowment for the Arts webpage!

    http://conservativeendowmentforthearts.wordpress.com/gallery-one/

  60. Dave Wendt says:

    I liked this one from Michael Ramirez…simple, but effective

    http://townhall.com/cartoons/cartoonist/MichaelRamirez/2009/11/2/

  61. Kate says:

    “Cassandra King (22:40:54) :
    If the BBC is publicly funded and the public raises enough dust, can you get it closed down or at least do a major house cleaning?”

    …No, we are stuck with them, seemingly forever.

    A producer once made this remark about the BBC; “One of the best things that happened to the BBC is that in the seventies a lot of bright young men started running it, and the disaster is that they are still running it”.

  62. Kate says:

    The Phil Jones University and the BBC could combine to break into children’s television, big time

    Damian’s revelation that Futerra has gone so far as to train even CBeebies researchers in “green” communication may offer a lifeline to embarrassed academics at the beleaguered “University” of East Anglia. The ever-helpful BBC might be able to channel them towards a less challenging audience than those brutal skeptics who are holding the Phil Jones University up to so much painful ridicule. Might there not be very promising alternative careers for Phil Jones and Michael Mann if a happy collaboration between CBeebies and, say, Blue Peter could be devised?

    …”And now children, here are Phil and Michael to show you how to make your own global warming statistics at home.”

    “Hello, children, I’m Phil. Can anyone tell me what Michael is holding? Yes. It’s a hockey stick. Does anybody know what that is for? No, Timothy, it is not to beat the crap out of nasty skeptic Pat Michaels, though that is a very good thing to do. It is to save the world. No, Prunella, Mr Brown did not do that last month, he was only speaking metaphorically. Michael…”

    “Right, children. Now, watch what Phil is doing. That thing with steam coming out of it is called a computer. What do you think Phil is putting into it? It’s called data. There we go… lots and lots of lovely codes and nice warm data… Oh, look! Phil is frowning. Something isn’t quite right… So, children, now Phil is feeding in his lucky number… and his doggie’s birthday… and his social security number. It’s getting warmer, that’s good. Now he’s adding in the number he first thought of and – wow! It’s getting really hot. Look at all that smoke coming from the computer – don’t try this at home. I’ll just print off that graph and let you see the pretty picture.”

    “Hi, kids, now I’ve finished working with the computer, let’s see what Michael is holding. It’s a graph, showing how hot the world is getting because of motor cars and American Republicans and horrid people called Deniers – Oh, look, Michael is holding his graph upside down. No, he’s not being silly, he’s being responsible. Because, you see, although the words are upside down, the lines are pointing upwards, which is what matters. And when we send it to our colleagues in New Zealand, who are becoming almost as famous as we are, the words will be the right way up, because it’s an upside-down country…”

    “Thanks, Phil. That was good. Now, kids, if you’ll watch very carefully, Phil will show you how to fill in a very useful piece of paper called a grant application form. You can send that to some very nice people in America – they’re like Father Christmas, but all the year round, and they give out lots of lovely money that people all over America pay them. Phil…”

    “And what do we do now, children? Just like tidying away your toys at home before bedtime? We wipe the computer clean, in case burglars try to break into it and let people see what we’ve been doing. After all, it’s none of their business!”

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