Global Warming Kills “Nessie”

Global warming gets blamed for a lot of things, like in the 90′s, when that California Cheese commercial came out blaming everything  on “Its the El Ninnnnoooooo…..”. Every day we see more an more piling on of claims that the root cause of some problem is “global warming”.

But when this one came along, it gave me such pause, that I just had to mention it due to the absurdity vortex that surrounds it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this:

Veteran Loch Ness Monster Hunter Gives Up

Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.

Read the whole story here at the UK’s Daily Record.

Of course we all know that Nessie is “real” and therefore it’s *ahem* reasonable to assume that the massive species extinction claimed as one of the direct effects of AGW would reach right down to the depths of Loch Ness and strike beloved Nessie dead. It’s a huge blow to Scotland’s tourist industry.

But that’s not the cause, the epic battle of Nessie’s last stand was captured in late 2007 on the Loch Ness web cam. The real culprit is not global warming, but very close.

See the picture below:

gorezilla520.jpg

Note: yes I realize the picture is absurd, but “absurd claims require absurd proof.”

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38 Responses to Global Warming Kills “Nessie”

  1. Tony Edwards says:

    Hot air indeed!

  2. George M says:

    The record of Sea Surface Temperatures (SSTs) is batted around a lot on the climate blogs. I wonder if there is a record of Loch Ness water temperatures available anywhere, and if they have actually changed any?

  3. Charles P says:

    Makes sense to me. Surely the only thing that could kill an imaginary creature is imaginary climate change.

    REPLY: Climate change isn’t imaginary, but the attribution and magnitude might be.

  4. floodguy says:

    I’m skeptical about this. I can’t understand how with Al Gore can be expelling all that hot air, warming up Loch Ness so much that it killed a terrific beast, all while snow remains on the ground. It just doesn’t add up!

  5. Jim Arndt says:

    Hi,

    Nessie Please, One fairy tale leads to another. Just trying to scare the kids again. Next thing they are going to say Christmas may be cancel due to the polar ice caps melting. Hello the is no Nessie to begin with. They studied Loch Ness and found there isn’t enough bio mass for just one on them beasties.

  6. John Goetz says:

    Nessie is not dead. She moved to India, where global warming is the cause of the record cold weather there.

  7. John Goetz says:

    Maybe the king penguins should move to India as well:

  8. Jim B says:

    I’m still waiting for “Santa’s North Pole Home sinks into the ocean due to Global Warming …. elves left homeless”

  9. Joe S says:

    Horrors! Nessie cooked alive in an inland caldron. Sants drowns trying to dog paddle to a chunk of ice. These recurring dreams I have when I lay down at night….that I’m a slice of bacon in a frying pan. Relief. I need relief, I tell you!

  10. SteveSadlov says:

    I would challenge this researcher to swim in Loch Ness without a wet suit. Heck, in fact, I’ll be even more tolerant than that, he can swim in the Firth of Forth, or even in the shallows near Lindnesfarn Island in High Summer. Go for it dude! Show us how warm it’s gotten!

  11. SteveSadlov says:

    By the way just a hop skip and a jump from Loch Ness are the quaint ski areas of Scotland. Last year they had only a so, so season – this year it’s been legendary (well, at least as legendary as a British Isles ski area can get!)

  12. Frank K. says:

    Hello,

    First – thanks Anthony for all you’ve been doing with surfacestations.org. And I love your blog!

    You know, it occurs to me that these kinds of ridiculous stories are killing the credibility AGW movement, so I’m glad to see these come out in the mainstream press.

    After all, we know that * everything * is caused by global warming!

    http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2007/11/everything_is_caused_by_global.html

  13. Evan Jones says:

    Sacrifices must be made.

  14. Trollfighter says:

    You sound just like the Bangor Maine “dumbest criminal” who ripped me off. When I mentioned global warming, he shouted:

    “I don’t believe in global warming!”

    To me, it sounded like:

    “I don’t believe in cows!”

    And it mde just about as much sense.

    But of course, idiots do need equal time.

  15. craig1 says:

    Wow! LOL. Great picture of Gore. Nice post! Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Craig and i have a blog about Central Plains Weather. Again, great site!

    REPLY: Welcome. As a TRW++ chaser, Have you ever heard of the term “cirrus blowoff”?

  16. papertiger says:

    Speaking of extinctions, has anybody seen Big Foot lately?

    It might be getting too hot for him.

  17. Evan Jones says:

    “But of course, idiots do need equal time.”

    Try looking at the rest of the site. (I don’t think you will find anyone who doesn’t think there was at least some warming between 1980 and 1998.)

  18. Evan Jones says:

    OTOH, it IS hard to resist straight lines like that!

  19. Martin says:

    Re: Jim B.

    The Mayor of Seattle already told the children that Santa and the reindeer will drown if we don’t change our evil ways.

    http://michellemalkin.com/2007/11/28/seattle-mayor-warns-kids-take-these-eco-light-bulbs-or-santa-and-the-reindeer-will-drown/

  20. >>I’m still waiting for “Santa’s North Pole Home sinks into the ocean due to Global Warming …. elves left homeless”<<

    see http://www.glar.gl/waterbed.pdf

    Best regards

  21. Pingback: Robert H. Rines, I salute you! « Water Ouzel

  22. Mark T. says:

    If you ignore for the moment that the whole idea of Nessie is probably nonsense in the first place, how exactly does one come to a conclusion that her death may be attributed to GW? Couldn’t it simply have been that she was the last of her kind and finally succumbed to the ultimate killer: life itself? I mean, we all know that life kills everyone and everything living eventually, right? I just don’t understand how people can make claims about a cause of death when the creature’s life has never even been verified.

    Sheesh… what some people will do to get their names in the press. Numberwatch needs to add this to the list of things caused by GW, btw.

    Mark

  23. Blaine says:

    This is an open and shut case. One hoax killed another hoax. The battle of the hoaxes has begun. Bigfoot is stepping up to the plate next with the Easter Bunny waiting in the wings.

  24. Mark T. says:

    At least with bigfoot there may be some DNA evidence, albeit unconfirmed as unique, simply unidentified… :)

    Mark

  25. Pingback: And now for something completely different…. « Managing the Menagerie

  26. Thank you for the biggest laugh I’ve had all day!!

  27. Trollfighter says:

    LOL……Sorry!!

    Some of the poeple up near where I used to live only take their heads out of their tushies long enough to stick them in the sand.

    One of the politicians has a blog on which he repeatedly dissed Al Gore, and called Jesse Jackson the world’s biggest “blowhard”.

    That’s how he gets elected, I guess.

  28. Trollfighter says:

    (…darn…and I had just seen an ad for a European tour in which you could pay $100 a minute to swim with Nessie…)

  29. Evan Jones says:

    Bigfoot is next.

  30. Evan Jones says:

    Damn. Blaine beat me out.

    Well, there’s always the Abominable Snowman.

  31. Jeff in Seattle says:

    If you ignore for the moment that the whole idea of Nessie is probably nonsense in the first place, how exactly does one come to a conclusion that her death may be attributed to GW? Couldn’t it simply have been that she was the last of her kind and finally succumbed to the ultimate killer: life itself? I mean, we all know that life kills everyone and everything living eventually, right? I just don’t understand how people can make claims about a cause of death when the creature’s life has never even been verified.

    I’m with ya. Of course the non-existence of something doesn’t prevent people from passing laws protecting it. Take Bigfoot, for example.

  32. Trollfighter says:

    Oh, I heard about that —the “Bigfoot Aid and Activisms Association”

    ……..or “BAAAA”

  33. jeez says:

    I tried to post this at RC. We’ll see if it gets through. It looks like there if finally a test which can falsify GCM’s and that would be the re-appearance of Nessie.

  34. sonicfrog says:

    This just shows you that Big Foot is a lot smarter than Nessie. He felt the globe warming, and instead of just waiting around to become extinct, he high-tailed it out of here and moved to Mars!!!

  35. Oboe says:

    Hah !!! … Nessie is NOT dead ….. I saw her last night in Lake Superior a few minutes after leaving the local bar. …

    Nessie and I chatted for about five minutes. … Apparently, when Al flamed her, it pushed her over the edge and she decided to take a vacation. ….. She told me that she always wanted to visit Lake Superior when the whitefish were running, mentioned something about a taste treat vacation. … She said that she will be home in the Loch about the last week in June.

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  37. Scott 1:58AM says:

    Scotland needs to have days of hard rain and severe flooding or maybe a drought, then maybe we’ll have some evidence of the monster. If none of these things happens in their climate, then Nessie as you say is nothing more than a myth.

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